What may have been
by hogwaffle
Summary: Faith makes a wish and becomes a famous actress, with no memory of slaying, or Buffy. But with a connection like theirs, how long can they really stay apart? BuffyFaith slash, two girls in love, got a problem with it? Don't read. Complete!
1. Default Chapter

Characters belong to Joss, lyrics to linkin park! Enjoy!

: I want to run away  
Never say good bye,  
I want to run away  
And never wonder why:

Faith sat feeling broken down and defeated, someone  
new had come into her life and she had trusted them  
and they had screwed her over, just  
like usual.

Gwendolyn Post. Faith had really believed she had  
found someone to be in her corner, but she had thought  
that before. For instance she thought  
that about Buffy, only to find out she was sleepin  
with the enemy. Literally. Angel, a vampire.

It turned Faith's stomach to think of the two of them.  
She thought she had felt something growing between  
her and Buffy, only to find out it  
was all a lie. She had just sent Buffy away, it had  
been hard and she had hesitated, but it had been for  
the best. She was somewhat surprised to find herself  
crying and all alone. Well crying at least, she was  
always alone.

"Faith," she looked up in alarm to see who had spoken,  
surprised to see a woman standing at the foot of her  
bed. She started to jump up; to ask her what she was  
doing there, but then a feeling of calm took over her.

"Who are you?" Faith asked as she stared in awe at the  
woman. She was very tall and her skin had a greenish  
tint to it, where it showed through the layers of  
billowing white fabric. Her hair was white  
blonde with pale pink streaks; Faith couldn't help but  
find her beautiful.

"My name is Jiya," she smiled.

"Jiya?" Faith rolled the name around in her mouth,  
finding it warm and almost liquid in her mouth, she  
started to close her eyes, feeling sleepy all of a  
sudden.

"The powers that be sent me. They wanted it clear  
that your pain does not go unnoticed by them. They  
know the great losses you have faced."

As if a movie was turned on, Faith saw the faces of  
everyone who had left her in her mind. Mom, grandma,  
brother, watcher, Gwendolyn. And  
now she had pushed Buffy out. Anyone she cared for  
left. Faith found herself crying again.

"So they know about my pain? Very comforting  
considering they're the ones that caused it," she  
cried, loosing composure. "Was it a lesson?  
A test? I'm I their fucking guinea pig? See how far  
they can push me till I crack? Cause let me tell you I  
am almost there?"

"They didn't have a choice. They are offering to make  
some amends for you," Jiya spoke softly, her words  
soothing Faiths raw emotions. "You get one desire,  
name it and it's yours." Faith barely considered the  
options.

"I want a new life, the whole thing. Don't make me a  
slayer and let me have the normal life I should have  
had." Jiya was quiet for a minute as she considered  
this, Faith waited, holding her breath.

"You realize everything you would be giving up?" Jiya  
asked finally, Faith laughed bitterly.

"You mean this dump?" She asked, looking around the  
room. "I'll take my chances without it."

"This means you will never have known anyone here, not  
Buffy, not any of them, and they won't remember you."  
Jiya sat on the edge of the bed next to Faith.

"They don't remember me now," Faith said softly.

"As you wish," Jiya placed to warm fingers in the  
middle of Faiths forehead. For a second it felt like  
fire rushing through her body, images and memories  
being ripped from her, new ones replacing them.  
Then nothing.


	2. 2

Joss owns who he owns, lyrics belong to gwen stefani

:if I was a rich girl

Na na na na na na na:

Faiths POV

I heard her whip open the curtain, like she always does this early. I rolled over when the sun hit my face, moaning like I had been burnt. I felt the bed move as she got back on and crawled to the middle where I lay.

"Come on sleepy," she kissed my exposed neck.

"Why do you always have to do that, Jess?" I did my best to ignore her kisses as the moved down my neck, across my shoulder, and over my back. Finally unable to take it anymore I rolled over, pulling her down on

top of me.

"Because I know how much you love it," she laughed, kissing me again. "Now get up, you have just enough time to shower and get to set."

"You gonna shower with me?" My fingers drew small circles across her back, then slid up under the edge of her shirt before she rudely pulled away.

"Then there would not be enough time for you to get there." I could hear her smiling, even though I was stubbornly keeping my eyes shut. "Besides I already showered."

I cracked an eye open to look up at her. Indeed she was showered, light brown hair straightened, and hanging loose over a lacy black tank top. My eyes traveled over her, taking in the frilly short white skirt she was wearing, a personal favorite of mine, toned, tan legs, and feet already in heels.

"How do you do that?" I ask, stalling.

"Do what?" She smiles again, and I am sorry I missed it before.

"Shower and dress so early?"

"I go to bed before the sun comes up," she laughs. "Now, go get in the shower."

"Okay, okay," I fight my way out of the covers, and make my way to the bathroom, making sure she gets a long look at me barely covered by panties and a ridiculously short tank top.

I step in front of the mirror and reach for my tooth brush, first order of business. When I'm done and rinsing off the brush I feel her wrap her arms around my waist, and know she got a good look. She smiles at me in the mirror and I lean my head back finding her lips and kissing deeply. God, nothing else tastes this good.

Her hands urge me to turn towards her, and I do. Luckily the sink is behind me for support as she runs a hand up under the tank top, and across my already swollen nipple. I moan as she squeezes gently. Then

pulls away.

"Get in the shower," she smiles.

"I hate you," I answer, pulling my shirt off as she shuts the door.

"You love me." She called back through the door.

I shook my head, climbing into the shower, eyes closed against the warm water. It wasn't as good as having Jess all over me, but it was a close

second. I smiled thinking about her; she was always the one waking me up. I can't help it I never get tired till the middle of the night, but

I only need four hours or so of sleep a night. Can't help it, it's just how I'm wired.

Later...

I slide on sunglasses as I step out of the house; it's early but the suns already bright. Jess is already in the car, sorting through bills and scripts for me. God I love her.

"Hey," I climb in the car leaning back in the seat; I sit up quickly, patting the pockets of my jeans and jacket. "Shit, I forgot my cell." I start to open my door.

"Hey," I turn to her and she's waving my cell at me.

"You rock," I kiss her gently, then lean in more deepening the kiss, abruptly my phone rings. "Mmm," I answer the phone, lips still near hers.

"Faith, you want to explain to me why my friends are ogling you in Maxim, with no prior warning to me?" I grinned pulling away from Jess and motioning for her to drive.

"Kaden, my favorite brother, I couldn't tell you."

"Contract issues?" Kaden asked.

"No. The idea of you running out to the mailbox to get your new Maxin, and finding your baby sister on the cover was too funny."

"You're in," he paused. "God it makes me sick to say it. Your panties. Eh a brother should never have to see that."

"Those shots of me in my panties are paying for our tickets to Europe this summer," I pointed out kindly to him.

"When you put it that way, it's much less disturbing." Kaden admitted and I smiled.

"Want me to send the proofs to your buddies?" I asked sweetly. Jess through me a look smiling.

"Yeah, I'll have them swing by later," he answered sarcastically.

"Sorry, Jess has dibs," he laughed at that.

"Okay, okay. You girls still coming to Bailey's party tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it. Should be done shooting early enough. We're just going to swing by the house and change then we'll be over."

"Sounds good. His little sister's in town, she's a big fan. Apparently she's seen the entire "Night Saber" trilogy, is a big fan of "The Valley", and even bought "Vegas nights" off eBay."

"I was like ten," I answered, laughing.

"And not wearing panties on Maxim. Trust me I noticed the difference," Kaden quipped. He won't admit it, but Seth Cohen is so his idol.

"It's like having all your most embarrassing home movies available to everyone," I sighed.

"Oh your embarrassed people can watch you at ten with an overbite, but 22 with panties is okay?"

"You're fixating," I pointed out.

"I know, I gotta go. See you tonight."

"Later," I hung up laughing.

"You were cute in "Vegas Nights". I mean if you wanted my opinion," Jess offered slyly.

"Good, when I meet this girl I'll offer up the tapes from your third grade recital."

"I see the point," she acknowledged. "But I don't still get royalties from that when it plays on Showtime. So don't complain too much."

We pulled into the lot, me waving at a couple of teenage girls who were standing outside as the car was checked in. After they did a double take and realized it was me they approached the car hesitantly and I gave then autographs and we took a picture with their camera phone.

"You just can't be incognito can you," Jess asked, shaking her head as we pulled into my parking spot.

"The fans show the love. I owe it to them."

"Alright superstar. Have a good day, I'm gonna run some errands and be back. You hurry in you're almost late." I kissed her quickly then jumped out of the car, running into set. It was going to be a long

day, Fridays always were, and I couldn't wait for the party.


	3. 3

:lie to me  
Joss owns who he owns…and this is the last time I'll say it…. Lyrics belong to Evanessence "breathe no more"

:Convince me that I've been sick forever  
And all of this  
Will make sense when I get better:

"Faith," Kaden shouted somewhat drunkenly as Jess and I stepped into the apartment.

"Kaden," I called back, mimicking his drunkenness. Jess grinned, motioning to the bar set up on the table next to us.

"Guess we have a little catching up to do," she picked up the vodka, pouring out two shoots.

"I hate this stuff, J," I winced taking the glass, quickly downing it.

"Gets the job done," she answered, wincing at the taste of her own shot. "I'll mix us a couple drinks." I nodded as Kaden appeared to give me a big hug.

"Whoa, having a good time," I laughed as he almost pushed me over in his excitement.

"Well if by a good time you mean 'rockin the hizzle' then hell yeah."

"Never say hizzle in front of me again. Kay?" I patted his chest, as I took the glass from Jess and went to mingle.

It's always nice to be at these small parties with friends, no business pressure or anything. It's the staring that always weirds me out a little at first. Inevitably there are people there who I don't know, and who know I am on TV. Part of the room will get  
silent as I pass, all of them just looking. Creepy.

A few drinks later I am talking with Jess and Kaden's girlfriend Maria when I see Bailey pushing his way towards us. A cute red head is following a little behind him, looking more than a little nervous. For a few seconds I wonder if he has sweet talked this  
little girl into leaving with him when I remember Kaden mentioning his sister.

"Faith, what's up," Bailey nods to me, pulling his sister to a stop in front of me.

"Hey, Bailey," I smile at them both, and the girl gives me a small smile, starting to look a little less frightened.

"This is my little sister Kia, she's a big fan."

"So I heard," I smile, putting out my hand. "Nice to meet you."

"You too," she smiled. "I really love your stuff. You always do awesome movies, and shows and I," she paused for a breath. "I just really like you."

"That's, awesome," I answer amused. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen," she answers immediately.

"Bailey, you are letting you innocent little sister get drunk with these Neanderthals?"

"She can handle herself," he shrugged.

"Come and hang out with us for a while, I grabbed Kia's arm pulling her into our little huddle, and effectively blocking Bailey out. When I looked back he was gone.

"Don't let any of these older men sweet talk you into anything, got it?" I asked Kia who nodded.

"Or any of the sweet talking older women," Maria said teasingly, I glared at her.

"Oh my god, so you really are a lesbian?" Kia squealed. "That is so cool."

"It is also so not anyone's business," Jess snapped, taking my arm and trying to pull me away. Kia had an expression on her face like she was going to cry.

"Hey, she's just sensitive," I call to Kia as I am pulled away. I wink at her and a smile a mile wide spread across her face.

"Wait, can I get a quick picture?" She called after us. I pulled myself free of Jess who glared at me as I stepped back to Kia.

"Sure." We pose as Maria snaps a shot with Kia's digital camera.

"Send a copy to Bailey and I'll sign it for you," I give her a quick hug then head off to find Jess who has stormed off.

I step onto the balcony, which is surprisingly empty aside from Jess, who is smoking feverishly at the end. I step up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and she shrugs me off. She doesn't bother to turn and look at me when she rolls her eyes.

"Why do you have to be that way? We don't need every random fan knowing  
our business. That's why you don't talk about it in interviews. Remember?"

"She's Bailey's sister. That's not random," I answer, leaning back against the rail as she turns to face the courtyard below. "Besides, everyone knows about me, even if I don't tell it's just a feeling they get."

"Well my parents don't know and I'd like to keep it that way," she practically growls.

"Jess, you're twenty-seven, and out to everyone else, don't you think it's time to clue your parents in?"

"No, it will never be that time. I've told you that before."

"Well maybe it's time for me to be with someone else then," I wave her off as I step back into the apartment. I bump into someone, spilling their drink all over both of us.

"Oh, god I'm sorry." I squat to grab the glass, and immediately knock heads with the other person. "Oww," I look up smiling into the most beautiful pair of green eyes I've ever seen. Blonde hair falls over a face just as striking as the eyes.

"Sorry," she winces. "Oh my god, you're Faith Spencer."

"Yeah," I smile, knowing I must look retarded. I grab the glass and we both stand, I hand it to her. "And whose drink am I wearing?" Oh yeah the smooth me makes a comeback.

"Oh, sorry, I was just so shocked. I'm Buffy Summers." Just the sound of her voice sends a jolt of electricity through me.

"Sorry I spilled your drink," I offer.

"It's my fault. I'm a little drunk," as she says this she stumbles back a little, knocking into a bookshelf. I notice for the first time how drunk she is. I reach out to steady her and a sticky hand finds mine. Again electricity as her fingers touch mine.

"Come on," I smile putting an arm around her waist. "Let's go wash this off."

"Okay," she nods. "I can't believe that I meet the Faith Spencer, and I am a stumbling drunk." I laugh as we stumble into the bathroom together.

"Don't worry I am more than a little drunk myself." I set my drink on the counter.

"Aww, we're drunk," she giggles. We both wash our hands quickly. "I have to pee," she announces. "Is that okay? Will you wait for me?"

"Sure," I laugh, leaning against the door. She sits on the toilet, keeping up a stream of conversation as she pees.

"Faith, "Vegas Night's was an awesome movie."

"Everyone keeps bringing that one up," I laugh.

"You were just so cute. And I love the new show!"

"Thanks."

"Can I come visit you on set? Oh my god. Am I the biggest asshole for asking that?" I laugh at her I can't help it. "What?" she asks indigently, pulling up her pants.

"Nothing," I shake my head. "Give me your number and I'll make sure you get on set."

"My number? Are you hitting on me?" She asks, stepping close. My senses are assaulted with the scent of her, warm, alive, vanilla.

"No," I answer, even though the husk in my voice is admitting otherwise. She smirks knowingly. "Finish that." I point to my drink. She does as she is told, downing it in one gulp, and dropping the plastic cup in the garbage. I take a breath as she looks me over.   
"Kiss me."

She steps up to me and oh so gently kisses me. If it wasn't for the door I would be flat on my back from that little kiss. She comes in to kiss me. I try to hold back, thinking of Jess, but there is only so much you can hold back when crushed between a door and  
a hot girl. We kiss again, longer this time, her tongue teasing at my lips. Finally she lets me break the kiss.

"I love the way you hesitate," she reaches past me for the doorknob and is gone.


	4. 4

Lyrics from Lenny Kravitz "calling all Angels"

:All of my life I've waiting for someone to love:

I step out of the bathroom and she's nowhere to be seen. I sink into the arm chair right outside the bathroom, thanking the gods of drunkenness that it is empty. On second thought I also thank those same

gods for not letting Jess see us come out of the bathroom.

Suddenly I am feeling dizzy, and very nauseous. I dip my head to my hands, shutting my eyes, but that only makes it worse. It's her, all I can see when I shut my eyes. Those eyes may be permanently etched into my memory.

I shrug my purse off my shoulder, feeling choked by the strap. If Jess finds out what just happened she will kill me. Why the fuck did I tell her to kiss me? I mean it was her choice to do it, but not to be vain, I'm famous, people tend to do what I ask.

"Hey," I look up to see Maria perched on the arm of the chair. "You doing okay?"

"Yeah," I sigh as she rubs my back. "Just feeling a little woozy. You seen Jess?"

"You mean since she stormed off?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," I sighed leaning back into the chair. "Have you seen her since she stormed off?"

"Last I knew she was in Bailey's bedroom," I nodded. "Faith, it isn't really my place, but have you ever though that maybe being with someone who wasn't quite as out as you wasn't a great idea?"

"I just don't understand what her deal is. I mean she is literally out to every single person in her life except her parents. I know that I have no obligation to tell the media, but really trying like this to keep it a secret?" I shake my head. "It's just not my style."

"I know," she nodded sympathetically.

"I gotta go talk to her," I pushed myself to my feet. "Thanks for the pep talk."

"Hey all I did was listen. You made all the good points."

"Thanks anyway." I start off across the apartment. We've been here lots, and it's only a two bedroom so finding Bailey's room isn't that hard. I knock gently, then push open the door.

Jess is lying on the bed with Bailey's dog Butch. Together they are snuggled up with some late night cartoon shows. Jess looks up; when she sees me she smiles a little then lays her head back down.

"And I always thought you liked the femmes," I teased as I crawled onto the bed behind her.

"Ha ha," she pretended to laugh. "Maybe it's a good idea you don't do too many comedies."

"Oh harsh," I slide an arm around her waist.

"Sorry about earlier," she started. "I just don't want my parents to know it would just disappoint them too much."

"I know that. I do, but it's just not me babe," I answer gently rubbing her back. For a second my mind flashes back to Buffy. And I feel like I'm cheating all over again, for that split second all I can think is how much I wish she was here with me.

"I'll try, okay Faith?" She asks and I am snapped back to the moment.

"Yeah babe," I kiss her forehead gently. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," she nods. "Sorry, Butch." She ruffles the dogs head and together we make our way back through the party. We say a quick goodbye to Kaden, and Maria then start the long ride home.

Hours later I still can't sleep. I mean I never can sleep, but this is worse. Usually I am watching TV, or working out, or eating. Now I am lying in bed with Jess, she felt sick on the way home, and laid down right away. I lay down with her, just to snuggle for a bit.

Now she's past out across my arm, and I really thought I could sleep so I didn't move her. That was two hours ago. I have spent two long hours thinking about nothing else but Buffy. Well, Buffy and how my arm was slowly going numb.

I have never had someone get this deep into me before. I've loved and lost before, but it never felt like they were in me this much. With Buffy it almost feels like she was already under my skin, just waiting to be scratched out.

Now if I could only figure out how she got there.


	5. 5

Lyrics belong to Strata "never there"

: I am patiently waiting here to see  
Which of us survives  
When all of this collides with reality:

"Faith!" I looked up from the magazine I was reading  
in the hair and make up room. In pranced Krista, my  
bubbily blonde costar, and good friend.

"Hey Krista," I smile as she hops into a chair,  
pulling down her sweatshirt hood to allow the artists  
access to her short blonde bob.

"How was your weekend?" She asks, leaning forward to  
sort through the pile of Us Weekly, and Star  
magazine's. "Why do we have nothing but gossip rags  
in this place? I mean hello we know half these  
people, its not just a guilty pleasure to read about  
them. Its like reading about your co-workers." She  
dropped the pile in disgust. I laughed, and tossed  
her the Los Angeles Post I had just finished.

"How about that?" I asked.

"Death, murder, mayhem, sometimes I don't know which  
publication is worse," she sighed.

"I try to take it all with a grain of salt. Murder,  
is Britney pregnant, three-car pile up, Angie and  
Brad. It's all just tragic." I let my head be tilted  
up by the make up artist, dropping the magazine into  
my lap.

"Good points. So no gossip rags, no news. Dish on  
your weekend," I saw her wink to me out of the corner  
of my eye as she was pulled back for her hair to be  
brushed.

"A little crazy," I admitted.

"Uh oh, things not happy in Jessica land?"

"Don't call her Jessica, you know she hates that," I  
remind her.

"I know, that's most of the reason I say it," she  
grins. "The girl's wound tight, and you're so loose."

"I'm gonna take that in a good way," I frown. "I'm  
gonna pretend I can think of one."

"So what happened? It did involve Jessica, I can tell  
because you didn't deny it."

"We got in a little fight when I didn't deny our  
relationship to Bailey's little sister, who is a big  
fan."

"Well you haven't denied it to any of us," Alissa, who  
was doing my make up smirked. "Shut your mouth for a  
minute." I complied as she did my lips.

"I know, but you all are apparently fine," I told her  
once she was done.

"Just so long as the general public doesn't know?"  
Krista asked.

"Yeah, I guess."

"That's kinda fucked up," Krista replied.

"Here, here," Logan, our "oh so gay" other stylist  
cheered.

"Well Logan, unlike you it is possible for us to hide  
it."

"Excuse me," he waved me off, going back to Krista's  
hair.

"Why would she want you to hide it? That's like  
hiding you. It's all I'm saying."

"I know," I nodded, as Logan began to blow dry  
Krista's hair. "I know."

Later I sat on the stage, off in my own little world,  
half listening to the others who were filming, and  
half thinking about Buffy again. Honestly I was  
drifting more towards full thoughts of Buffy. Jess  
and I had been kinda distant from one another the  
whole weekend.

She had slept most of Saturday, hung over, and waking  
up only enough to watch the Tivoed episodes of  
"Passions", snack on Doritos and drink Diet coke. I  
ran out and got us Subway fro dinner, and then she was  
out for the night again. Sunday she went off with  
friends and I chose to be out of the way when she got  
home, and stay out of the way until she went to sleep.

"So you thinking about filming, or Jessica?" Krista  
asked, settling into the chair next to me.

"Honestly? Neither," I admitted. "So full truth on  
Friday night?"

"I wanna know," she nodded eagerly.

"Well, after the fight, I was talking to this girl  
Buffy."

"Oh, a girl?" She raised an eyebrow. "A hot girl?"

"Very hot," I nodded, grinning. "Blonde."

"I knew you loved us blondes," Krista shook her own  
blonde mane for emphasis. "So what happened?"

"We kissed in a bathroom, well, she kissed me."

"And you stood there limp and oh so defenseless?"  
Krista didn't look like she was buying that.

"Well, kinda. I mean my back was pressed up against a  
door, and she was pressed against me."

"And this door had no handle?" Krista raised an  
eyebrow, I only glared at her. "Sorry. So does this  
hot mystery woman have a name?"

"Buffy." I glared harder as Krista burst into  
laughter, our director turned and gave her the major  
evil eye and she calmed her laughter to a quiet  
shaking of the shoulders.

"Buffy? I'm sorry, but that is so valley girl I can't  
even stand it. Are you going to call her?"

"I don't have her number," I shrugged.

"So you wish you did though? Tsk, tsk, what would  
Jessica say to that?" Krista shook her head, and I  
couldn't help but grin.

"We both know exactly what she would say. God, Krista  
what am I gonna do about this girl?"

"Jessica, or Buffy?"

"Both I guess."

"Ditch Jessica. If this Buffy chick was macking it to  
you in the bathroom, I like her style."

"You can be so dirty."

"I know but the blonde hair just creates this shell of  
innocence no one seems to see through," Krista  
answered with false honesty. "I feel just awful about  
it."

"Right," I answered sarcastically.

"Krista, Faith, on set now." We both jumped up  
heading for the stage. We ran through our scene a few  
times, then were let out for lunch. Together we  
headed back to craft services, filling up plates and  
heading out back for the picnic tables.

Sitting down I started digging into my pizza, starving  
as always. Krista looked on in awe as I devoured the  
first piece in about a minute flat and started on the  
second. I shrugged to her and she began picking at the  
salad and baked chicken she had chosen.

"Honestly, you have the most killer metabolism," she  
shook her head.

"I know." I grinned, ripping open the bag a bag of  
chips.

"Oh, do you Cat's new number?" Krista asked. "She  
gave it to me a while ago, but I didn't put it in my  
cell, and now I have totally spaced on where I did put  
it."

"Yeah, you want her new cell number right?"

"Do people have home numbers anymore?" Krista asked  
raising an eyebrow.

"Only crazy old people," I picked up my cell,  
scrolling through the phonebook while stuffing chips  
into my mouth.  
Alissa…..Anna…..Anita……Bethany…..Britney….. I dropped  
my bag of chips. "Oh shit."

"What?" Krista leaned forward, trying to see my  
phone, I turned it so she could see the screen, I  
pointed.

"Right there."

"What? Oh, shit, the Buffy?"

"I never met any other one," I stared at the phone,  
right under Britney, Buffy. I clicked on her name and  
up popped her information. 323-555-9867, Buffy  
Summers. And under notes, 'call me ;)'


	6. 6

Lyrics from linkin Park's "Lying from you"

:When I pretend  
Everything is what I want it to be  
I look exactly like what  
you had always wanted to see:

"Are you going to call her?" Krista asked eagerly.

"What?" I asked, somewhat horrified with the idea of speaking to Buffy again. Mostly I was terrified by the way just the sight of her name and the idea of her putting it in my phone was causing all the blood to rush in my head, imagining all the things I could do  
with her. "No, I am not going to call her."

"Why not?"

"Um, Jess. And, Buffy wasn't worth giving up Jess," I stuttered to find reasons.

"From the look on your face I'd say she was plenty worth it," Krista grinned, and I blushed deeper.

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen the way you look at Jess. And no doubt, you like, maybe even love her. But you never look at her the way you are right now thinking about this Buffy."

"She was just so," I searched for the word giving up all pretense. "Captivating. I didn't want anything but to be with her forever."

"Call her then, dumbass," Krista tried to shove the phone to my ear. I pushed it back down.

"No, relationship of over a year on the line here," I pointed out.

"With a girl whose parents you haven't even met."

"Not the point," I glared.

"Faith, we need you for some reshoots," I twisted to look at the PA sticking his head out of the door.

"During lunch?" I gave him a tired look.

"Sorry," he looked apologetic.

"Okay," I sighed, pushing myself up away from the table. Krista grabbed my wrist.

"Cat's number?" She asked.

"Oh, yeah," I grabbed my cell starting to scroll back through.

"Faith, sorry, but they need you quick," I sighed again, handing the phone to Krista, then following the PA back towards the studio.

"Bring it back in with you," I called back as the door shut.

"Yup," Krista grinned, scrolling through Faiths phone with one hand as she pulled her own out of her purse. "Buffy Summers," she grinned copying the number into  
her phone before getting Cat's number.

"Am I bad? Oh yes," she grinned to herself, standing to head inside.

Me and Krista stood side by side in the make up room, both trying somewhat uselessly to remove at least some of their make up. A few of the other actors were in and out chatting with the lingering stylists and PA's.

"Bright and early tomorrow for you?" Alissa, the head stylist ask, breezing through the room.

"Nah, not till three, thank god," I answered, pulling my hair back into a loose ponytail.

"Not till three?" Krista asked. "Well then, are you going to Luna's tonight?"

"Nope, I have strict rules about going out on Mondays," I answered.

"Jessica won't let you?" Krista smirked, leaning to the mirror to apply her own lip gloss.

"No," I glared. "I mean she doesn't like it, but that's not the point. Monday is just, too Monday to go out," I finished lamely and knew it.

"If you had balls," Krista shook her head. "Well Jessica would be wearing them around her neck. A nice compliment to the whip in her right hand." Krista made a sound like a whip.

"Ha ha," I answered backing out of the room as I slipped on my jacket. "Funny girl. Work on the routine and I will see you tomorrow."

"Okay, but if you change your mind we should be at Luna's by eleven."

"Don't wait up," I answered, letting the door swing shut behind me.

I headed to my car, thinking about stopping on the way home, it was time to get something nice for Jess. I needed to fix this rift between us before I did something stupid. Buffy's lithe waist came immediately to mind.

"Yep, gotta fix this," I muttered backing the car out.

Five hours, twelve dozen roses in various colors (none of the red), one bottle of Cristal, and one pound size bag of lindor truffles later I sat at home, alone. The roses were set in vases around the foyer, the chocolate and champagne at my side. I was sitting at the bottom of the stairs; hands clasped, and foot tapping as I glanced alternatively between the door, and my cell phone.

Finally it rang.

"Hello?" I answered quickly.

"Hey," Jess answered happily, I could hear traffic in the background.

"Where are you?" I asked, trying not to sound too annoyed.

"At coffee bean with Tia," she answered, then obviously not talking to me "the vanilla chai latte, thanks."

"So you coming home anytime soon?" I asked, knowing how annoyed I sounded, and not really caring.

"Hold on a second. Faith, we need to talk later," she sighed. That really didn't sound like anything I wanted to do. "Things have been weird, and I know you noticed."

"I thought we were talking later," I said snidely, I couldn't help it. "You know, when you're done doing whatever important thing you're doing."

"Faith," another sigh. I hated when she sighed. "Fine, I'll be home late." The phone clicked in my ear.

"Okay," I said slowly, closing the phone. I looked around at the flowers. "Fuck." I glanced down at the phone. Ten-thirty. I could change at be at Luna's by the time anything fun was going on.

I grinned, decision made, and stood, jogging up the stairs to slide into something a little hotter for the night.


	7. 7

Lyrics belong to Houstan from "I like that" I think that's right…you guys know who I mean, the song with Chingey)

:I like that, I like that  
Girl twerk that back  
Whooa  
I like that, I like that  
Girl freak that back:

Lunas was packed when I walked in, first monday of the  
month, no cover. It was always packed, easy for  
someone high profile like me to slide through the  
crowd unnoticed. Even if anyone did notice, the middle  
of Hollywood, everyone was too cool to say anything.  
I got to the upstairs lounge Krista loved, without  
being fondled or groped in anyway, which is harder  
than you might think. I peered around spotting Krista  
in a far alcove. I pushed my way through the tables  
and booths till I could slide in next to her.

"Hey," she smiled, hugging me tightly. "You came!  
What happened to the leash?"

"You never stop do you?" I asked, shaking my head. "I  
figured no work till three, might be time to tie one  
on with my bestest drinking friend."

"Oh, yeah, I got a round of shots coming, and this is  
for you," she pushed a glass of wine in front of me.  
I took it, raising it to her before taking a sip.  
"Now, do you know everyone? Alex, Gia, Mailee, and  
Ian." She pointed to them one at a time. I smiled  
around, Mailee was the only one who I didn't know. I  
liked her though, cute little asian girl.

Alex was Krista's on and off boy toy of the moment,  
nice enough, but I found him a little boring. I dug  
Gia and Ian, they were good people, brother and sister  
from Alabama, he had lost the accent, but she milked  
it for all it was worth.

"Faith, how you doin darlin?" Gia asked, giving me a  
little smile from across the table, blonde hair  
falling lazily over one eye.

"Been good, Gia. I've missed you the last few drunken  
rounds." I winked at her. It had the desired effect,  
she blushed just slightly, which was the best you  
could ever get from her.

"Well, I got burned the last time I danced with you.  
Your girlfriend's got some powerful evil eyes." She  
bounced back quickly, and I only nodded. "This is  
Mailee, she just moved here, she's eighteen." I  
smiled my best smile at the girl, liking her more and  
more.

"And she's my girlfriend, so put away that dirty old  
man smile," Ian added.

"If you ever get tired of him..." I let Mailee come  
up with the ideas on her own. Her big brown eyes got  
even bigger. She was saved by the tray of shots being  
delivered to the table.

"Bottoms up," Krista grabbed hers first, raising it,  
and then downing it. We all followed suit.

"Damn, that was nasty," I grimaced, "what the fuck  
was it?"

"I don't know," Krista shrugged. "I just told them to  
make it strong."

"So I notice Jess isn't here," Gia grinned, wiggling  
her eyebrows at me. "In a dancing mood?"

"Hell yeah," I grabbed her hand, pulling her past Alex  
out of the booth.

"Wait for me!" Krista jumped up, following us. "I'll  
be back baby," she blew a kiss to Alex, as we all  
pushed our way to the dance floor.

Lunas plays mostly rap, and some pop, but that's fine  
for dancing with someone like Gia. The dance floor's  
crowded, but not crowded enough to merrit how close  
she danced with me. She was my drunken dance partner  
nearly everytime we drank together.

She has the way of teasing, where every part of her  
body can touch yours, but its still never quite  
enough. Its absolutly amazing how she feels against  
you. My reaction to her would be why Jess has been  
advising we avoid parties and bars we know she'll be  
at. Fuck that now though.

"Faith," Krista yells right into my ear, but over the  
music I can barely hear what she says.

"What?" I turn to her, confused.

"Look," she repeats, pointing back the way we came. I  
stop dancing immediatly, staring as Buffy Summers  
works her way through the crowd.

"Hey," she smiles, stopping in front of me, for some  
reason I can hear her perfectly. Behind her, Krista  
is grinning like mad.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, smiling, surprised  
how happy I am to  
see her.

"Krista called me."

"What?" Now its hard to hear. I grab her hand,  
pulling her off the dancefloor. Behind us Krista and  
Gia are now dancing, I glance back and  
Krista waves. I smile back and pull Buffy off the  
floor and into an alcove booth, I pull the curtain  
across, cutting off enough noise to talk. But now we  
only look at eachother.

"Hey," she smiles, I swear it lights up the whole  
area.

"What are you doing here?" I ask again, shaking my  
head in disbelief. Her face falls a little, and I  
realize maybe that didn't come out right. "I am  
really happy you're here," I assure her, squeezing her  
hand.

"Your friend Krista called me," she smiles, twisting  
her fingers with mine. "I didn't believe her at  
first, didn't even remember putting my number in your  
phone."

"That was pretty smooth," I told her, "I didn't know  
Krista had taken it. That was pretty smooth of her."

"I like her," Buffy smiled again.

"So..." We were both quiet for a minute, just taking  
eachother in.

"Wanna dance?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Sure," she grinned, pulling me out of the booth, and  
back towards the floor. We steered clear of Krista  
and Gia, finding our own little space. We didn't  
really discuss it, just gravitated to the most  
crowded part of the floor, letting ourselves be pushed  
together, no need to make the decision.

The way she moved was intoxicating. She managed to  
keep it so we only touched monentarily, and each brush  
against her sent sparks through me. I let her play  
like that for a few songs, before I lost all control.  
I pulled her tight against me, smiling when she  
gasped, knowing my feelings were rushing though her as  
well.

"Faith," she breathed roughly in my ear, her body  
resting against mine. Both of us stopped dancing, heat  
and motion radiating from everyone around us.

"What, B?" I asked, wicked deja vu running through me  
as I call her that.

"Can I kiss you," she whispers, but again, for some  
reason, I can hear her perfect. But I don't answer, I  
just meet her lips with my own as she looks up at me.  
Again its like fire burning through me, ebem when the  
kiss is just innocent. As it goes on longer and gets  
deeper, it starts to become hard to stand, and I have  
to break away.

"Damn," I breathe. "Listen, I'm sorry, I have a  
girlfriend, I have to go," I back away quickly,  
practically running out of the club.


	8. 8

Lyrics belong to Unwritten Law from "Seeing Red"

:Well I confess, I don't know

What to make from all this mess

Don't have much time for sympathy

But it never happened to me:

I actually slept well, for the first time in months. Jess wasn't home when I came in, didn't surprise me, she was pretty pissed, probably was staying at a friends house. Or she could be planning on coming home; it was only a little after midnight

I waited till one before giving up and heading to bed. I didn't expect to sleep, just watch some mind numbing TV. Next thing I knew it was nine in the morning, sun was streaming in the window, convincing me Jess hadn't come home, she always shut the blinds.

I squinted over at the alarm clock, more than a little surprised to see the time. Eight straight hours? I couldn't even remember the last time I slept that long. I rolled over, actually considering getting some more shut eye.

"Jesus Christ," I practically fell off the bed jumping backwards. Jess glared at me from her side of the bed, she seemed to still be dressed from the night before. "What the hell, Jess? You couldn't have said hello, given me some sort of warning you were there? I about had a heart attack." I pushed myself up, sitting against the pillows.

She threw the latest gossip rag on the bed next to me, standing up from the bed. I picked it up slowly, looking over the page she had it flipped open to.

"Late night special printing the guy told me," she spoke flatly. I stared down at the magazine with a sinking feeling, there clear as day was Buffy and I kissing at the club.

"Fuck," I swore under my breath, letting the magazine drop to the bad. I put my head down, running my hands through my hair.

"That's all? Fuck? That's all you have to say for yourself?" Her voice was raising, this was not going to be good.

"Sorry," I said quietly.

"Sorry?" She picked up the magazine, whipping it across the room. "You're sorry? You're cheating on me, and you're sorry? Are you sorry for the cheating, or the fact that I had to read about it in a fucking magazine?" Her face was red with anger as she screamed, I winced. "Say something, God damn it!"

"I'm sorry for both," I answered calmly. "I'm sorry that this isn't working out anymore." I got up, walking past her and heading down the stairs to the kitchen; she followed after me, yelling the whole way.

"Not working out? We have a little rough patch and you go all player on me? Macking it to the first bitch you cross paths with?" She screams, I stop and turn in the doorway.

"She's not a bitch. And I only went out last night because you were being a bitch. I was all ready to make amends. Did you notice the flowers?" I ask, motioning to the roses all around us.

"Don't turn this on me," she picks up the nearest vase, throwing it at me. Luckily she's a shit shot and it misses by a yard, smashing against the wall.

"Holy fuck," I scream. "That could have hit me!"

"What did you think I was going for?" She asked snottily, picking up another vase and chucking at me, getting close enough I had to duck.

"Get the fuck out of my house," I screamed.

"Fine," she screamed back, she started for the door, then turned, kicking and pushing over all but one of the vases. The last one she picked up, walking towards me, I side stepped, opening the door quickly.

"Taking those for the road?" I asked sarcastically. She didn't answer, only emptied the vase over my head, completely drenching me.

"Oh, phh," I sputtered the water absolutely freezing.

"Bye," she smiled and walked out. I stood there in shock as she jumped into her car, and hauled out of the driveway. She barely missed a minivan, which honked angrily. I turned to survey the damage.

"Fuck," it was an absolute mess. Maria, my maid, came walking tentatively in. She stared around the foyer in awe, taking in the broken roses, and shattered glass everywhere. I glanced down at myself, soaking wet in a tank top and underwear.

"Think you could get Phillip to come in and help you clean this up?" I asked, trying to keep my tone light. Maria only nodded. "Thanks. I'll be upstairs." I tiptoed through the broken glass, and started up the stairs. Halfway up I stopped and turned back to Maria, who was already collecting the bigger pieces of glass. "And if Jess should come back. Don't let her in, okay?"

"Yes, Faith, of course," she answered, nodding.

"Thanks," it was time for a long, hot shower.

When I finally stepped out of the shower, the water had been running cold for a good twenty minutes. I stepped out, only slightly chilled. I quickly pulled on jeans and a green tank top, rushing out to make it to set on time.

I figured I would have time to spare, but you never know in LA. Luckily I was correct, three car pile up on the 101, and I made it to set with only ten minutes to spare. I slid into the make up chair, slipping off my sunglasses, and leaning back.

"Ran out pretty fast last night," Krista said, spinning in another chair to face me.

"Yeah," I answered, nodding tiredly.

"Jess waiting up for you?" Krista asked.

"Well, I bet she was up. She was apparently up at the right time to catch today's latest gossip rag," I held up the magazine in example.

"Oh, shit," Krista practically jumped across the room, snatching the magazine from my hand, and reading allowed. "Breaking news! Faith Spencer, star of last summers "Quest for the Night Saber", and this years break out hit "The Valley" was seen getting very close with an unidentified woman in the late hours of last night. Spectators said the two were dancing VERY close, and kissed, much longer than friends."

"Oh yeah, Jess was pissed," I sighed as the hairdresser brushed through my still damp hair.

"Thus confirming, the many internet rumors of Miss Spencer's sexuality," she paused. "There were internet rumors?"

"You've never googled me?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. "There are whole internet groups dedicated to my sexuality."

"Huh," she answered, continuing to page through the magazine. "So...would you be mad to know I invited Buffy to set?"

"What?" I sat up quickly, the stylist pulling away.

"Yeah," Krista nodded guiltily. "She has a drive on at five. Are you mad?" I sighed, thinking it over.

"Honestly? No," I grinned at her. "Me and Jess had it out this morning. It's over."

"Thank you god in heaven," Krista raised her hands to the sky. "Seriously it was about time. Now you can get down with this Buffy girl, right? Cause I have to say, until she ran off she was pretty cool."

"When did she run off?" I asked, kinda hoping it wasn't long after I left.

"A little after midnight, said she saw someone she knew and ran off. And I am talking, RAN."

"Huh," I answered as my head was tilted forward by Alissa. "Was Alex talking by any chance? Because I've wanted to run out during that before."

"Be nice," Krista grinned.

"Hey, I got rid of the girlfriend you hated. When you gonna ditch the boremeister?" I asked.

"He isn't boring in the bedroom," she defended.

"Oh, too much information," Alissa grimaced.

"Sorry," Krista apologized with a grin. "Also he may be boring, but he is an honest guy with a good job. Where else am I gonna find that in LA?"

"I'll give you that," I tried to nod, but Alissa held tight to my hair, preventing any movement.

"Are you done here, Krista?" Alissa asked, sounding irritated.

"Yep, just waiting to be needed on set," Krista answered, spinning in her chair.

"Well go wait somewhere else. That way I might have a chance of getting Faith to set on time."

"Sorry," Krista sulked past me and I stuck my tongue out at her.

"So, when you two are at the table, I want you to look a little more nervous. Remember you're about to confront him about getting your best friend pregnant. Fidget, play with the sugars. Got it?" Richard, our director asked me.

"Yeah," I nodded, glancing over just in time to see Krista step back onto set, followed by Buffy. My heart jumped in my chest, and I suddenly felt I was going to have no problem appearing nervous.


	9. 9

Lyrics are from Unwritten Law "Seeing Red" Thanks for all the great feedback guys, keep it coming and I'll make sure you keep getting a chapter a day! lol

:so follow the leader now  
And swallow your pride as well  
When there no place left to go  
Baby thats when you will know:

I slid into the booth across from Seth, he smiled, and  
then went back to texting on his cell phone. I watched  
as Buffy followed Krista over to the edge of set. She  
caught my eye and smiled. I gave her a little wave,  
motioning to my chair, she got the hint and sat down.

"Okay, Seth, back to your mark," Richard directed,  
Seth stood, sliding his phone into is pocket. "And  
make sure the ringer's off this time." Seth pulled the  
phone back out, silencing it before putting it away  
again.

"Silent," he announced.

"Ready, Faith?" Richard asked. I gave him a thumbs  
up.

"Quiet on set, roll cameras, action!"

"Natalie," I looked up at Seth, letting the  
nervousness wash over me.

"Hey, Barry," a half smile, quick kiss on the cheek,  
then back to staring at my hands as I rearranged the  
sugars.

"Why'd you want to meet here?" Barry asked.

"It's about River," I, Natalie, caught his eye  
breifly before looking away.

"River," he gave a nervous laugh of his own, "what  
about her."

"I know you slept with her, Barry."

"With River? You're not serious. What would make you  
think that?"

"Because it's true," Natalie looked Barry in the eyes.  
"I can see it in your eyes." Barry looked down,  
shoulders sagging in defeat.

"Can you forgive me?" He asked. "It was a mistake.  
We had broken up, and you were with Mikey, I thought,"  
Barry sighed. "I thought I had lost you. I was  
drunk, and she was there."

"She was there?" I let Natalie's voice fill with  
restrained anger. "My best friend was there, so you  
decided to have sex with her?"

"I didn't mean to."

"What, you were playing twister, and oops, were  
naked?" Natalie laughed bitterly.

"I'm sorry. It was just one night, it's over," Barry  
promised. Natalie stood, walking towards the door of  
the diner. Barry grabbed her wrist, looking up at her  
pitifully.

"Natalie?" She shook his hand off, glaring down at  
him.

"She's pregnant, Barry. It's far from over," she  
stormed out, letting the diner door slam bahind her.

"And cut!" Richard called excitedly. I came back  
through the door.

"Faith, that was fantastic, just what I was looking  
for."

"Thanks," I grinned, walking past him to Buffy, she  
smiled up at me, but made no move for me.

"Alright everybody, set up for the River, Barry  
confrontation in her,room." Richard instructed.

"That's gonna be me," Krista stood, stretching.  
"What's that about Rich? I've been sitting around for  
three hours, my guest gets here and you make me work."

"It was on purpose," he nodded as he walked away.

"Faith, can you take care of my friend?" Krista asked  
with a wink.

"I think I can handle it," I smiled, taking Buffy's  
hand. Again as she twisted her fingers with mine I  
felt weak. I glanced over to se if she felt it, but  
she only smiled.

"Uh huh," Krista nodded, as me and Buffy held  
eachothers gaze. "Well, I am just gonna go off and,  
not be noticed somewhere else."

"Okay," Buffy answered, then spun to face her.  
"What?"

"Nevermind," Krista laughed. "See you later."

"Bye," Buffy smiled, and I waved.

"So..." I started, wondering why I was always a  
retard around this girl. "We can go watch them film  
if you want."

"Nah, I saw your scene that was enough." She answered  
off handedly, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Enough huh? Should I be insulted?"

"What? Oh, god, no. I didn't mean it that way. That  
sounded bad didn't it? I just meant, I only wanted to  
see you really." She spoke quickly, obviously  
embaressed.

"It's okay," I squeezed her hand. "Nice to hear you  
sound a little dumb instead of just me. Do you want  
to come back to my trailer? And please think about  
that as me a TV star with a trailer, not my trailer as  
in  
my doublewide home."

"Well, if I think of it that way, then that was a  
pretty smooth line."

"I'm gettin it back," I grinned, pulling her off the  
set. "Come on." Together we went quickly through the  
stage, heading out the back door to where our trailers  
all were. I lead her over to mine, feeling the eyes  
of more than a few people on me as I unlocked the door  
letting her in.

"This the the home away from home," I announced.

"Hmm," she looked around "black leather."

"Just like Snoop would do it," I said quietly.

"What?" she asked smiling a little.

"It's an Adam Brody line. Grind, great movie." I  
shrug, feeling like a complete dork again. Suddenly  
she dives past me.

"Are those episodes of "The Valley"? Oh my god, are  
they new ones? Can we watch?" Suddenly I am feeling  
less dorky.

"Uh, yeah there is one that hasn't aired yet I think,"  
I move next to her, she only moves closer to me,  
making it hard for me to sort through the tapes to  
find the right episode. "Here," I hand it to her,  
swallowing hard.

"Thanks," she slides it into the VCR, then sits on the  
couch. I sit next to her, not sure what to do. She  
snuggles near me and I put an arm around her as the  
credits roll. "I love this song, who sings it?" She  
asks about our themesong.

"Unwritten Law. Its called seeing red. They're nice  
guys they were on the show a few weeks ago." I tell  
her, turning, my face inches from hers. She turns,  
facing me our lips seperated by the smallest  
distance.

"Do you feel that?" she asks, biting her lip, and  
dropping a hand to my thigh.

"Yeah," I nod, my lips brushing her gently befor  
pulling back, I rest my forehead on her. Of course I  
feel it, its the same feeling I've had everytime I've  
been near her.

"Faith, I don't know what's going on," she sounds  
almost scared, and somehow I sense that its something  
strange for her.

"Me either," I answer, trying to move closer, without  
actually kissing her.

"Faith." There's a sharp knocking on the door, and I  
practically jump away from her. And go to open the  
door, its the same PA from yesterday, looking really  
apoligetic. "Sorry, but Richard moved up the morning  
after scene."

"Damn. Alright, I'll be back in a couple minutes  
okay?"

"I'll let him know." I shut the door, and turn back to  
Buffy, who's standing now, looking a little sheepish.  
I smile at her, walking over and pulling her into an  
embrace and kissing her cheek gently.

"You up for dinner?" I asked, playing with a piece of  
her hair. "It'll be late, more like ice cream  
probably."

"Sounds good," she smiled and I had to smile back.


	10. 10

Lyrics belong to hilary duff "who's that girl"

:who's that girl  
Where's she from  
No she can't be the one:

I sat in my trailer, shaking my knee up and down,  
tapping a pen against the edge of the table. I  
glanced at my phone on the table in front of me, then  
up at the clock. Nine o'clock. I reached for the  
phone, then  
jumped when there was a loud knock on my door.

"Yeah?" I yelled.

"Just me," Krista called as she opened the door,  
stepping into my trailer. She looks as me, still  
holding my phone. "Oh good god. Just call her, will  
you please?"

"I know," I lean back on the couch. "I just, god, she  
makes me so nervous."

"She must be special," Krista smirks, sitting on the  
spinning desk chair. She twisted side to side on it,  
smiling at me. "I don't think I've ever seen you  
nervous. About anything. Ever."

"I've never been nervous like this," I admit. "When I  
touch her, it's like touching electricity. I  
litterally get light headed, and it scares the fuck  
out of me."

"I hate to tell you, but that's what love is. It's  
scarey, and dangerous, and should make you feel like  
you have no control over any of it."

"I hate not having control," I answer sighing.

"I know," she stands, heading for the door. "Call  
her, you'll never forgive yourself if you let her get  
away."

"Yeah," I answered as the door swung shut. I scrolled  
through the phone, clicking Buffy, and send. With a  
deep breath I put the phone to my ear.

"Hello," she answered after the first ring.

"Hey," I answer smiling. "So...ice cream?"

"You've never been to Coldstone?" Buffy asked in  
astonishment as she dragged me forward like a little  
kid.

"No," I shook my head as we entered the ice cream  
store.

"But you've heard of it right?"

"Well yeah, but I just didn't feel it was important."

"Not important? How long have you lived here?"

"Um...five years? Yeah five I guess, I mean I was  
out here to film a couple movies, but didn't actually  
move here till," I explained.

"Well I grew up here till I was fifteen. I grew up on  
Coldstone. It is a necessity."

"What can I get for you?" The bored teenage boy behind  
the counter asked.

"Vanilla, two scoops" answered Buffy promptly, I  
raised an eyebrow looking at her. "What?" She asked.

"Vanilla? All this talk of how special this place is,  
and you get vanilla? Don't they have some sort of  
exotic special flavors to try?"

"They make vanilla special," she pouts for a second  
before grinning. I smile back at her.

"Make that two, on cones," I tell the kid without  
looking away from her. She nods, agreeing with the  
cones.

"Here you go," we broke our staring to grab our cones.  
"That's gonna be seven twenty eight." All of a  
sudden the kids eyes light up. "Oh, shit, you're  
her?"

"I'm who?" I ask, handing him a ten.

"Faith, you're Faith! You are so hot," he grins and I  
laugh.

"Thanks," I take the change, dropping it in his tip  
jar. "See ya." I follow Buffy outside, and we claim  
a table.

"You get that a lot huh?" She asked.

"Yeah, but they are all always really sweet like  
that."

"So, um, not to pry, but what happened to your  
girlfriend?"

"Yeah," I smiled. "Well we broke up."

"I caught that, from the way you weren't running away  
from me." She answered.

"I didn't mean to do that to you," I smiled. "Things  
had been iffy with us for a while, meeting you just  
made it harder to ignore that."

"I'm sorry," she took a bite of her ice cream, looking  
down at it.

"Hey," I reached across the table, taking her hand.  
"It's not your fault. It was my decision, and it was  
the best decision I've made in a long time." She  
smiles, leaning across the table, I meet her halfway,  
kissing her slowly. Mmmm, the vanilla did taste  
special.

"Um, sorry to interupt what you're in the middle of,"  
I looked up to see the kid who served our ice cream  
standing by the table, my Maxim cover in hand. "Which  
is really hot by the way, you two kissing, but could  
you sign this?" He held out the magazine to me, hands  
shaking a little.

"Sure," I grabbed the magazine and the sharpie,  
signing it.

"Did you just buy that?" Buffy asked, looking amused.

"No, I had it in my backpack," he grinned sheepishly  
as he took the magazine back. "Thanks so much."

"No problem, have a good night."

"You too," he backed up and turned going quickly into  
the ice cream parlor, on the other side of the glass I  
saw the other three employees looking out at us.

"So, where were we?" I ask, leaning back to her, she  
grins and leans forward, stopping just short of  
kissing me.

"You realize we have an audience right?" She asks.

"Does that bother you?" I ask.

"Nope, you're the celebrity."

"Kiss me then," and she does. It's fantastic,  
something great about being with someone and not  
having to worry who might see. I am loosing myself in  
the kiss untill there is a sudden cold drop on my arm.  
I pull back a little.

"That's sticky."

"Not the response I was going for," she frowns.

"No, my arm." I motion to it and she sees the ice  
cream on my arm, and notices her ice cream dripping.

"Oh! I'm sorry," she grabs my arm, lifting it a little  
and bringing her mouth to my arm, gently sucking and  
licking up the drops from my arm.

"Oh," I bit my lip watching her, then I shut my eyes,  
overcome by the way her mouth fells on me. She pulls  
away, the warm spot on my arm quickly cooling in the  
air. I open my eyes to see her staring at me  
intently.

"Faith?" She asks. "You okay?"

"Not sure," I answer lowly. "Do you want to go  
somewhere?"

"Yeah," she nods. We stand in unison, both dropping  
the remainder of our ice creams in the trash.

I took her hand, together we walked back through the  
park on our way to the only available parking space we  
had been able to find. I was surprised there were  
actually a bunch of other couples out and about.  
I just thought about us as a couple, fuck this girls  
got me twisted.

"What are you thinking about?" Buffy asked, squeezing  
my hand and pulling me out of my thoughts.

"Actually I was thinking about us being a couple. Is  
that weird?"

"Yes, in a very fascinating and exciting way," she  
stopped, pulling me to a stop, and pulling me against  
her. "Kinda like you," she kissed me gently.

"Good answer," I smiled, pushing hair behind her ear.

"Glad you liked it," she kissed me again, pulling back  
quickly and smiling at me.

"You drive me kinda crazy, you know?" I asked.

"I get that a lot," she nods, then frowns looking over  
my shoulder. "I gotta go," she pulls away.

"What?" I frown confused. "I thought we were..."

"Yeah, sorry, just someone, something came up, and I  
gotta go," she's backing away quickly, making me feel  
like a did something wrong. I step foreward grabbing  
her arm.

"Go where?" I ask.

"I'm sorry," she kisses me quickly then takes off. I  
consider following her, but damn that girl is fast.  
In seconds she's dissapeared.

"Did I just get Punk'd?" I ask the now empty walkway,  
shaking my head and continuing to the car. Not sure  
how she's getting home, but not really sure about  
anything about her actually.


	11. 11

Lyrics belong to Saliva "bleed for me"

As a side note, anyone who wants to read more of my stuff can find it on Wicked and Divine, under Samantha. Just google wicked and divine….

:all I ever wanted  
Was to be what you needed  
Cause something so strong  
It could never be wrong:

Buffy staked the vampire, coughing as she inhaled half  
its dust. She lay for a second, breathing heavily on  
the pavement of the alley. Finally she pushed herself  
up slowly, mumbling to herself.

"Must've swallowed at least ten vamps by now. Ow," she  
winced, checking her arm and finding a long slash  
there. It stretched from her elbow to her wrist, and  
was still dribbling blood. "Great."

She pulled off her sweater, and wrapped her arm in it,  
twisting it tightly to try to stop the bleeding  
completly. She knew that even as a slayer, stitches  
might not be a bad idea. But oh well, she wasn't  
going to.

She moved slowly out of the alley, each step causeing  
a shot of pain through her body. Her arm throbbed  
painfully, and she stopped at the edge of the alley,  
leaning against the wall for a minute.

"Shit," she bit her lip, trying to focus on that small  
pain, instead of the gigantic one in her arm. In a  
few seconds the pain in her arm subsided to a dull  
moan, and she started off home again.

She had been halfway home from the fight in the park  
when she had spotted the vamp in the alley. He didn't  
look like anything special, but had given her a real  
fight, the worst she'd had since she was back in LA.

She walked wearilly up the stairs to the tiny, shitty  
studio apartment she was sharing with Willow. She  
unlocked the three locks, then knocked sharply three  
times to get Will to undo the chain. She heard the  
chain slid back and Willow opened the door with a  
grin.

"Buffy, how was the date?" Willow asked excitedly,  
then noticed her arm. "Oh, Buffy, did she hurt you?"

"What," Buffy frowned. "No, a vamp." She pushed past  
Willow, getting only far enough into the room to drop  
onto the couch. "Why would you think Faith did this?"

"She's a celebrity," Willow shrugged, kneeling to  
unwrap Buffy's arm. "They do weird things sometimes.  
Buffy, this is bad." Buffy looked at her arm,  
surprised to feel woozy at the sight of bone peaking  
through the wound. The blood was dry and crusted  
around the wound now, but you could still seem warm,  
moist flesh inside. This was untill you met the  
bone at least.

"What kind of vamp did you say this was?" Willow  
asked raising an eyebrow.

"The kind with a big knife," Buffy answered through  
clenched teeth. The cool air was making the wound  
sing with pain again.

"Don't move," Willow commanded.

"Not a problem," Buffy assured her. She sat patiently  
as Willow rumaged through a box in the kitchen, coming  
back with four small jars in her arms, along with a  
wrap of some sort. She watched as Willow grabbed a  
small wooden bowl and began to mix some of the  
contents of each jar together.

"What is that stuff?" Buffy asked, wrinkling her nose  
at the smell.

"If I told you, you wouldn't let me put it on your  
arm," Willow answered. She dipped her fingers into  
the foul smelling mixture.

She took Buffy's arm, extending it slowly, seeing  
Buffy wince anyway. She gently began to smooth the  
cool wet ointment into and around the wound. At first  
Buffy felt more sick from the smell, and the pain of  
slathering on the gunk, but as soon as the whole wound  
was covered her arm became blessedly numb.

"Akia, naibum, fatou, maroiusi," Willow repeated these  
words quietly as she wrapped the would in what seemed  
to be thin, thin cotton. As Buffy watched it seemed to  
secure itself to her arm with no help needed. "You're  
arm will be sore for a couple days, but you won't need

stitches."

"What would I do without you Will?" Buffy asked,  
smiling.

"Invest in a real insurance plan?" Willow asked with a  
grin. "Now, for my payment. How was the date?"

"Good, untill I saw a vamp taking off after a girl,  
then I had to split. He met up with a bunch of pals."

"And they did this to you?" Willow motioned to  
Buffy's arm.

"No, this was one vamp havin himself a wino meal out  
back."

"Was she okay with you leaving? I mean, was the date  
over?"

"We were going to her house," Buffy moaned, laying  
down on the couch. "I just ran away pretty much, I  
couldn't think of a good reason."

"Oh, Buffy," Willow patted her back sympathetically.  
"She'll understand."

"Yeah that I'm a wack job. It's okay, I knew it  
couldn't last forever, I mean come on, me dating a  
celebrity? I don't exactly have a high profile  
friendly job," Buffy sighed. "How was your day?"

"Good, did some research for Angel, he still wants to  
set us up in a new place. He keeps telling me to get  
you to change your mind."

"No. Those stocks are going to come through. And  
otherwise we still have enough money left from  
Sunnydale to keep us in this place for a while."  
Buffy answered quickly. "I don't want to take his  
charity. I don't care what he says, that law office  
is not on the up and up."

"Buffy it's really not that bad. Angels been running  
it for over two years. You've really got to meet  
Fred, she's got this great science lab."

"Will, I'm sorry, I'm really not in the mood. I just  
have a bad feeling about that place."

"Okay," Willow nodded.

"I'm gonna go to bed," Buffy stood up, slipping out of  
her pant, and into shorts. She breifly considered  
brushing her teeth, then decided not to.

She crawled into the bed, knowing she was going to be  
asleep in minutes. She clicked off the bedside lamp,  
but with Willow still reading there was still enough  
light to see the picture on the night stand. It was  
always the last thing she saw. The picture was a  
couple years old, her, Willow, Giles, Xander, Tara,  
Dawn, and her mother. The only ones left now were her  
and Willow.

She shut her eyes, trying not to focus on all the  
people destiny had seen fit to take from her. The  
collapse of Sunnydale had been the worst, taking Dawn,  
and Xander as it fell, leaving them with a lump of  
money from the twon in payment for keeping their  
mouths shut to the news.

They had no reason to talk anyway, and loosing Giles  
and Joyce to the first earlier in the year just hurt  
more. Together her and Willow decided to move on.  
The few remaining slayers had asked them to start  
a new base of operation, but they had declined.  
Somehow those girls had found Angel and that  
responsibility fell to him.

"You asleep?" Willow asked quietly.

"No, it was wishful thinking," Buffy answered, sitting  
up. "Are we doing the right thing giving Angel an  
army of slayers at his command?"

"Yes." I have no doubt. They're the reason a lot of  
his people are still alive. The shell of Illyria that  
they safely removed before it could be opened? Odds  
are Fred would be dead if they hadn't forseen the  
danger. If only they could have done something to  
save Wesley."

"He went into that fight against all their warnings  
you said," Buffy frowned.

"He did," Willow nodded.

"Then that was his decision," Buffy said bitterly.  
"Have they taken down Spike yet?"

"No," Willow answered quietly.

"No? We practically handed him to them, and they let  
him slip away. Do they have any idea where he is now?"

"Last time he was spotted was in Rome, he's apparently  
working with someone, or something, not to sure on  
that. Anyway, known as The Immortal."

"He's been on a rampage ever since he got the chip out  
of his head, people dead left and right, we catch him,  
give him to them and they loose him," Buffy shook her  
head. "It just pisses me off."

"You think it doesn't piss me off? One of those  
people he killed was my girlfriend," Willow spoke with  
quiet bitterness.

"Nothing's been right since high school," Buffy  
muttered. She lay back down, done talking.

I leaned against my car looking up at the building,  
three stories, pretty run down. I glanced down at the  
piece of paper in my hand, rereading the address.

"Nice digs, Buff," I spoke to myself. I pushed away  
from the car heading for the door, odds are it would  
be locked, but a place like this, maybe not. I  
grabbed the handle, it turned easily. She lived on  
the third floor.

No elevator. I started up the stairs, ten am and I am  
in some rundown aparment building looking for a girl  
who ran out on me. Some jackass I am.

I make it to the landing, glancing around for aparment  
314. I spot it and go to the door. Taking a deep  
breath, and wondering for the umpteenth time what the  
hell I was doing. I knock on the door.

"Just a second," answers a sleepy voice. I hear three  
locks click, and then the door opens, the chain still  
across. I see Buffy peering out, her eyes go wide.  
"Faith?" she slams the door shut, I hear the chain  
slide again and she opens the door, staring at me.

"Hey," I grin. "You were supposed to come over."

"I had to go," she answers, still looking confused.

"I remember."

"How did you find out where I live?" She asks,  
eyebrows furrowing.

"I'm famous, people bend to my will," I amswer with a  
grin. I glance down over Buffy, I can't help it, her  
hairs bed swept, and she adorable in a tank top and  
shorts.

"That's not like a real power you have or anything is  
it?" She frowns when I laugh at her joke.

"No," I assure her.

"Good," she smiles, "um, come in." She opens the door  
wider, letting me into the room. Together we glance  
around the room. "Wow, I live in a shithole," she  
apoligizes.

"Don't talk about it that way," I turn in surprise to  
see a cute redhead with shoulder length hair sitting  
up in the bed. "Hi, I'm Willow," she introduces  
herself. "And I will be in the shower." We watch as  
she  
quickly grabs some clothes and dissapears into the  
bathroom. I raise an eyebrow to Buffy.

"It's so far from what you're thinking," she says  
before I can say anything.

"She's not a lesbian?" I ask.

"Well, actually she is, but we are not now, nor have  
we ever been involved."

"But you share a bed?"

"Do you see room for a second one?" Glancing around  
the room I see this is perfectly valid.

"As long as I'm not interupting anything," I shrug.

"You are so not," she smiles, tugging me to her. She  
kisses me and I return then kiss eagerly, and begin  
pulling her backwards. We fall laughing to the bed,  
her on top of me.

"How you doing?" I ask, smiling up at her.

"Very good with you here," she kisses me again, her  
whole body squirming against me in a way that quickly  
begins to make me squirm. After a couple minutes I  
push her up.

"We gotta stop," I tell her, trying to catch my  
breath. "Cause I few more minutes ans I won't be able  
to." She laughs and slides to my side, snuggling up  
against me.

"Okay I'll be good," she kisses my jaw gently.

"Who are they?" I point to a picture on her bedside  
table.

"Friends," she answers, her body tensing next to mine.

"Here I ask?"

"Gone," she answers, her voice cold, she gets out of  
the bed. "Want me to make you breakfast?"

"No," I answer, a little perplexed by her behavior,  
but not wanting to push it. "I actually have to get  
to set. I just wanted to ask you to be my date tonight  
for the premeire of "Midnight Prayers"?"

"A movie premeire?" She turns, eyes shining.

"Well, it's not for an A list movie or anything," I  
shrug. "Krista and Seth are both going, a guest star  
from a few weeks ago is in it, and made sure we were  
all invited. Big party afterwards, the whple deal."

"Sounds awesome," she grins.

"Good. Then I'll pick you up at four?" I stand up,  
moving for the door.

"Perfect," she follows me to the door, opening for me.

"See ya," I kiss her cheek. She grabs my arm as I  
turn to go.

"Thank you," she holds my eyes for a few seconds, then  
squeezes my arm. "It means a lot to me that you  
came."

"No problem," I frown, noticing her arm is wrapped. I  
take it gently. "What happened?"

"Oh, it's nothing," she pulls her arm back embaressed.  
"Just a little run in with a broken branch."

"Uh huh," I nod, not sure if I believe that.

"See you tonight," she kisses me and shuts the door in  
my face.

"What am I getting into?" I ask myself queitly,  
starting back down the stairs.


	12. 12

Lyrics belong to Cypress hill "Rock superstar"

:Make money, chill with the honeys

Sign autographs, or whatever the people

Want from me:

I sat in the limo nervously waiting for Buffy, as I watched the unexpected rain pouring down. Mindlessly I fidgeted with the small box in my hand. Half of me was thinking maybe I should put it away, not give it to her. I sighed; at least from the way the driver was squirming, and had locked the doors as soon as we parked, I was sure someone was as nervous as me.

There was a knock on the rain soaked window that made both the limo driver and me jump. I looked up to see Buffy smiling, holding a jacket over her head. I quickly opened the door, letting her slide in next to me. I take a second to look her over; she's wearing form fitting black pants, and a hot black high necked halter top with ring of crystals around the neck.

Damn.

"Hey," she leans and kisses me quickly. I pull her jacket from her, dropping it on the limo floor.

"Hey," I smiled, taking her hand as the driver pulled away from the curb. "Some weather huh?"

"Yeah, isn't this southern California? Not really supposed to rain, earthquakes sure, torrential downpours, nope."

"Yeah," I laugh. "When I started looking for a house everyone told me to get one in the hills. I was like fuck no, I want me one on solid ground."

"Good plan," Buffy nods. "So limo? Wasn't really expecting that."

"They're practically mandatory at premieres. Kinda dumb if you ask me, I'd rather drive. Although, the way you're looking it might have been hard to concentrate." She smiles, squeezing my hand.

"Very distracting yourself."

I smile, not thinking I look near as hot as her. The designer for the show helped me pick out the outfit. Pink skirt, knee length, black shirt, off the shoulder sleeves. I added my own tiny cross necklace, a present from my mother for my birthday last year. I feel like I might be invisible next to her though, and it takes a lot to make me feel that way.

I take a deep breath and pull the box out of my pocket.

"I know this might be foreword, but I got you something." I hand her the box, biting my lip as she opens the box excitedly.

"Ohh," her eyes go wide was she lifts the bracelet. It's a thin silver cuff, with a dragonfly in the center, set with diamonds and emeralds. "I can't let you give me this; it must have cost a fortune."

"It did," I don't lie, and she looks up at me, smirking. Maybe she's amused by my honesty, I don't know. "It was only a small one though, not to brag, but its less than one paycheck for me."

"You get paid every week, or every two?" she asks, looking out of the corner of her eye.

"Every week," I smile.

"Well, in that case. Help me put it on?" I grin, fastening the bracelet around her wrist.

"Looks good," I take her hand in mine again, playing with the bracelet.

"Thank you. So much. I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you." She looked down for a minute, playing with my fingers before beginning to speak again. "Things, things have been bad for a long time, never goin right. I've lost a lot lately, and you're the first really good thing to happen in so long."

"Wow," I breathe out slowly. "That's a lot to live up to."

"Well so far you are doing an excellent job," there was no hint of joking in her voice.

"End of the line ladies. Enjoy the movie!"

Buffy's POV

The door to the limo door is opened wide and sound fills it instantly. Fans screaming, music playing, reporters shouting questions, it's unreal, the bright lights don't help any. Faith lets herself be helped out, before reaching back to take my hand with hers.

I step out of the car into the spotlight, and have never felt so uncomfortable in my life, but at least the rain has stopped. Immediately pictures are being taken of us as Faith twists her hand with mine. She smiles over at me quickly, and I know a dozen cameras have caught it. She leans close to whisper in my ear, even more flashes go off.

"Just smile, stay with me," she squeezes my hand again and we start away from the car. She waves to the reporters, smiling for their cameras, completely in her element. Me, I'm just trying to keep smiling.

Someone waves us forward, but Faith ignored them, turning across the street instead. Fans line three blocks, pressed behind a barricade that looks dangerously close to bursting. She tugs me towards the street; security guards immediately flank us, police holding up hands to stop traffic.

"Come on," she grins and we cross. I've seen a lot of scary things, but never anything as frightening as those fans. She's signing autographs as quickly as possible, completely unfazed by the people grabbing her, pulling her into hugs, and snapping pictures in her face.

"I made this for you," a teenage girl, hands her a pretty bracelet.

"Aww, thank you," Faith slips it on and give the girl a hug.

"I loved last weeks episode!" Someone shouts.

"Thanks," she calls back, not looking up from autographs.

"Is anyone else going to be here tonight?" Someone else asks.

"Krista and Seth should be here," Faith answers, smiling for a picture.

"Krista's hot. Are you two ever gonna hook up on the show?" I smirk when some guy asks this, Faith is signing his autograph.

"She is pretty hot. I'll have to talk to the writers." She winks at the guy and the whole group around him whoops. I feel a tug on my arm, and turn to see a little girl, no more than eight, dark brown hair, being lovingly supported in her mother's arms. I feel a quick pang of sadness in my chest.

"Can you ask her to take a picture with me?" She asks eyes wide.

"Sure," I smile, and reach for Faith. She turns, her eyes questioning.

"This little girl wants a picture," I explain, and the girl waves shyly.

"Sure," Faith grins widely, and reaches out, I think surprising everyone by taking the girl in her arms, holding her tightly. "What's your name?"

"Alissa," the girl answers shyly.

"Smile honey," her mom commands. Both Faith and the girl grin wildly, Faith hugging her close. The mom snaps the picture.

"Thank you so much," the mom says, sounding truly grateful as she takes her daughter back.

"Oh, it's no problem," Faith smiles. "Nice meeting you Alissa."

"Nice meeting you too," Alissa is smiling like she just won the lottery. I wave to her as we start down the line again. Only a few more autographs and the guards force her to stop.

"Sorry," she calls, tossing some lucky fan her sharpie as a consolation prize. We're quickly back in front of the reporters smiling, and posing for pictures, Faith holding me close.

"How's the season going so far?"

"Is it hard to be the lead?"

"Any plans for hiatus yet?"

"Smile please, over here."

"Is this the girl from the bar?"

"Is she your girlfriend?"

She looks at me quickly, in response to that last question. Our hands are linked and I'm surprised she needs any more permission than that. I give her a short nod.

"Yes, she is," she answers, which leads to a frenzy of questions.

"How long?"

"What's her name?"

"Where did you meet?"

"Are you engaged?" I frown, thinking that last one seemed out of the left field.

Finally we make it into the theater, the noise a little less deafening as we step into Mann's Chinese Theater. Some of the crowd turns, looking to see who's arrived, but they immediately go back to their conversations.

"Want a drink?" Faith asks.

"Sure," I nod. I follow as she walks us to the bar, picking up two flutes of champagne. She hands one to me and raises hers in a toast.

"To front page gossip in the morning."

"Cheers," I smile, sipping at the liquid, bubbles tickling my nose, I rub it quickly.

"You like?" She asks.

"Yes," I nod, taking another sip, this one I start choking on as I spot someone across the room.

"What?" Faith asks, trying to look in the direction I am. "Jessica Alba? You want to meet her?"

"No," I catch my breath, then reconsider as the person I was really looking at spots me. "Actually sure," I take her hand, pulling her towards Jessica, which isn't quite in the opposite direction.

"Jessica," Faith smiles.

"Faith? Oh my god, where have you been," Jessica pulls her in a tight hug. "Actually never mind, I know how time consuming a series is."

"Right?" Faith laughs. I glance behind us, knowing we are being watched. "This is Buffy."

"Nice to meet you," Jessica smiles, shaking my hand.

"Same," I smile back, amazed to not feel more nervous. The two of them make a couple more minutes of small talk before Jessica is pulled away by her boyfriend. Then the moment I was dreading happens.

"Buffy," I felt him before he spoke, I turn, facing Angel.

"Angel," I nod. We look each other over for a moment, Faith just standing by and taking us in.

"How have you been?" He asks. "I mean, I've talked to Willow, she says."

"I'm fine."

"That's what she says," he nods.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, the full randomness of the situation finally kicking in.

"Clients, we represent the director and producer, they were nice enough to invite me and the group."

"Hi I'm Faith," Faith interrupts, sticking out a hand. "And you are? A lawyer?"

"Well, I run a law firm," Angel shrugs.

"Angel, look who's here," Fred, Angels eager right hand woman I had met when we first got to LA came eagerly up, young girl in tow.

"Oh Buffy, this is one of our clients."

"Amanda Bynes? You represent Amanda Bynes?"

"Entertainment, you know contract negotiations."

"Right, nice seeing you Ang, we gotta go." I grab Faiths hand, pulling her away.

We make our way into the theater, waving to Krista as we pass. I feel kinda bad cause I think Faith wants to talk to them. We keep going though, sinking into seats further down.

"And Angel is?" Faith dives right into it.

"Ex, very ex." I answer.

"And a lawyer?"

"Sort of," I nod.

"He's older?"

"A little, which by the way is the first thing everyone has to point out."

"Sorry. Bad breakup?"

"We went through hell." I didn't add literally, even though I was thinking it. "It's just not a happy story."

"That's cool," she shrugs. "Do you still feel like going to the party later?" I take a minute, surprised that she isn't pushing the issue.

"Uh, actually, not really," I admit. "I'm sorry, seeing him just threw me. It's been a while."

"I'd rather not go anyway," she smiled. "We could just go back to my place." She looked hopeful, like she thought maybe I would turn her down. That was a dumb idea.

"Sounds good," I smiled, tugging on her hand, pulling her into a kiss just as the lights went down.


	13. 13

Lyrics from 112 "peaches and Cream"

:Let me show you that I'm feelin you

Wanna freak, wanna ride you

Wanna taste, wanna put my lips all over you

Can't get enough of you

Always taken with you:

Faiths POV

The gate was stuck when we pulled up. I had been meaning to get it fixed, it swelled when it rained. Being as how it hadn't rained in months, it slipped my mind. Luckily the rain hadn't made a reapperence yet, so thanking the driver, I let us in through the door next to the gate.

I took her hand as we started up the driveway, neither of us saying much. Not much light was making its way to the driveway, the trees above had been growing over for years, each spring they seemed to block the light a little more.

"Uh, you smell that?" Buffy wrinkled her perfect little nose.

"Yeah," I grinned.

"Skunk. It's possibly one of the worst smells, and trust me, I've smelt some bad ones."

"For some reason, I almost like it," I admit, fully prepared for the raised eyebrow she gives me. "It reminds me of when I was younger. In like eighth grade, me and my friends Stella, and Beth, and Beths older brother, and little sister used to all hang out. There wasn't much to do in our town, so we spent a lot of nights just walking aimlessly around town."

"And skunks remind you of this? Maybe your friends should have tried a bath."

"Ha," I gave her a little push. "There were lots of skunks in town, so we would always smell them, even saw them a couple of times. There's nothing funnier then a group of people surprised by a skunk. Maybe its the rain still hanging in the air too, I don't know I never really noticed how much the smell takes me back, until just now."

"You still friends with them?"

"Yeah, we talk mostly on the phone and internet now. Stella may be moving out in a couple years. Graphic design."

"It's really cool you keep in touch with them, so many people loose touch." Buffy sounded wistful. I was really starting to wonder what this girls history was. We made it to the house and I glanced over to see Buffy looking up at the house in awe. I grinned, surprised to see anyone impressed with my place.

"Ya wanna take a picture, B?" I asked, and again that weird twinge when I called her that. Like deja vu, but stronger.

"No," she punched me lightly in the arm, at least I could see she hadn't put much effort in it. Hurt like hell though. "It's just, wow. I thought you said you didn't have a mansion."

"Buffy, its only five bedroom." She gave me a look, then we both looked up at the house. I could only imagine what she was seeing. It was that white stucco stuff that most of the houses in this city seem to be, three floors, that was why I liked it. The windows and trim were a rich dark red, as was the door. It had three bay windows, and an upstairs

balcony on the third floor.

"That's four more bedrooms then the aparment I share. And lord Knows how many rooms."

"I know, I wasn't looking for a place this big, but I loved the third floor. And the pool and hot tub out back are amazing. Come on," I took her hand and pulled her through the side gate, into the back yard.

"Oh," she smiled at the set up I had left. I had strung white and blue fairy lights up around the pool, and had left a vase of lilies on the table, along with two wine glasses, forks and napkins. In the subtle lighting the pool and hot tub looked fantastic.

"Wait here a second," I tell her as we reach the table. I run into the pool house, opening the small fridge in there. I pull out a bottle of white wine, and carefully grab and balance two plates, each with a slice of cheesecake on it.

"Cheesecake?" Her eyes light up. "How did you know I love cheesecake?"

"I didn't," I shrugged. But I had, it isn't even one of my favorite desserts, but I hadn't given it more than a moment of thought when picking it out. I set the plates down carefully, then noticed the napkins were pretty much soaked to uselessness. "Are the chairs wet?"

"Um," Buffy tilted one out to check. "Sorta, I think the table protected them a bit."

"Okay, one more second." I went quickly back into the poolhouse, coming out with new napkins, and two towels.

"Madam," I pulled out her chair, laying a towel across it. Once she sat, I lay the napkin on her lap. I did the same for myself, and popped open the wine. "White okay?"

"Love it," she smiled, reaching out her glass. She looked breathtaking in the twinkling fairy lights, eyes lit up with her smile. I filled first her glass then my own.

"To good things," I raised my glass.

"May they keep coming," she toasted, bringing our glasses together. She took a bite of her cheesecake and her smile widened. "Oh, my god. This is the best cheeesecake ever."

"Could be that we didn't actually have dinner," I pointed out, taking a bite. "Oh, this is good." I took another.

"See, I know the difference between what is good, and what tastes good from starvation."

"My mistake."

"Every year my mother," she paused for a minute, her words catching, like she hadn't meant to let them slip out. "She would get me cheesecake for my half birthday."

"That's cute," I smiled, but she seemed far off.

"She always thought it was more special to have it then, instead of my real birthday. It was always great cause we would usually go out to get it, always just me and her. Dawn would stay with dad, then after he was gone, a sitter."

"Dawn's your sister?"

"Was. Last year, well almost a year ago, there was an accident."

"And your mom?" I frowned.

"Earlier in the year, she passed on," her voice was even more emotional, and she had slowed to only poking at her cake. "She told me to take care of Dawn"

"Hey, accidents happen."

"I was supposed to stop them," she said quietly, taking a small bite of her cheesecake. She sighed, "what's your family drama?"

"Me?" I shrugged. "My parents are divorced, my mom still lives back in Boston, never remarried. She adopted a little girl from Thailand about five years ago, named her Kia. She's the cutest little girl, she'll be six in June. Um my dad moved to Arizona and remarried, I have two step brothers, ten and fourteen, Issac, and Joey. And my real brother Kaden lives out here in LA, he's three years older, works for a architect, doing freelance commisioned stuff."

"And that's the happy family, huh?" Buffy asked, smiling, and taking renewed interest in her food.

"In a nutshell," I nod. "Pretty dull really."

"Dull is good, trust me."

"I know. I am so lucky to have the family I do. Might not have made it through highschool without them."

"I wouldn't have made it through highschool without a few people," she grinned.

"So you grew up here, huh?"

"I transfered in my sophmore year. Just moved back last June." She explained.

"And it took me this long to run into you? Poor planning on my part."

"Well, you didn't know what you were missing." I laugh, and she looks at my quizically. "What?"

"You just have," I pointed to her, there was a piece of cheesecake in the corner of her mouth. "Cake, right here." I wipe it off with a finger and hold it out for inspection. I reach to wipe it on her napkin, but she grabs my hand in her's, stopping me.

"You can't waste that." She lifts my hand slowly to her mouth. First flicking her tongue, the tip, just tasting a little of my skin, and a little of the cake. That one little connection made my eyes flutter. The longer lick along my finger, getting most of the cheesecake, that one made me shut my eyes, a light moan escaping into the night.

Eyes shut I was totally unprepared for her to take my whole finger in her mouth. My eyes shot open, locking with hers, as she dragged my finger out of her mouth, teeth fighting to hold onto it. She let go of my hand, and I was surprised I had the self control to not just let it drop.

"I'm full, can I see the house," she asked lowly. All I can do is nod.


	14. 14

Lyrics belong to 50 cent, "candy shop"

:I touch the right spot at the right time

Lights on or lights off she like it from behind

So seductive, you should see the way she wind

Her hips in slow-mo on the floor when we grind:

Buffy POV

I bite my lip as she looks at me for a second before nodding. She stands up before I do, and offers her hand. I take it, standing up, she doesn't back up and I am standing with my whole body less then a centimeter away from hers. I run a hand through her hair, she's staring deep into me, I know she's thinking about pulling me to her, but I step back.

"You have to be the leader here," I whisper, twisting my hand into hers. I back up a couple steps encouraging her to fall out of her trance.

"Yeah," she gives me a little half smile, and pulls in front of me. I follow her quickly up the stone walk to the sliding glass door in the back of the house. I follow her inside, immediatly more in awe of the place. We step into the living room, my heals sink into the plush carpeting.

"Wow," I smile. The rug is a light beige, the mucho comfy looking couches are white, the kind of white that would never stay white in my place. She also has an awesome coffee table with slate stone set down the middle. I step away from Faith, taking in the paintings.

"Chinese huh?" I ask, all of the paintings have a distinct oriental look to them.

"Yeah, we lived there for a couple years when I was a kid. I've always loved the culture." She shrugged.

"That is amazing," I smile. "So, where's my tour?"

"Oh, yeah, come on," she takes my hand and leads me though the downstairs.

"That was the living room, here's the kitchen," I glance around, taking in the marble counter tops, white cupboards, tile floor. She doesn't slow down though, and I am forced to follow her out.

"There's a bathroom, office is in there," I get brief glimpses of these, bathroom done in blue and white, office in deep rich reds and wood. Then we're in the front entry way, hard wood floor, white walls, more

chinese paintings, scrolls, a wall cabinet filled with all sorts of figurines. I step close to the cabinet, most of them are jade dragons, but there are also chinese dolls, dogs, cats, horses, and one coiled painted metal cobra.

"Faith, these are all beautiful," I whisper, putting a hand against the glass seperating me from the figures. "You like dragons I see."

"My mom got me all those things while we were in china. There's more in the study, and some in the bedrooms. And yeah I love dragons, always wished it was my chinese astrology symbol."

"What are you?" I asked curiously.

"A dog," she winces.

"Well that means your loyal and compassionate," I point out.

"You actually know about chinese astrology?" She looked more than a little surprised.

"I am a font of randomness," I quip.

"Random is good," she nods. "So did you want to see the rest of the house?

"Yes," I grin, following her as she heads up the stairs. We stop on the second floor. We glance into the four bedrooms, each is decorated very differently. One in all neon colors, modern patterns, one with extra chinese flair, one in all blues and greens, looking undersea-ish. The last is my favorite it almost looks medival, there's no rugs, only the same dark hardwood floors as the entryway. The walls are painted a maroon color, the bedspread a dark blue, above the bed is a reprint of an old "Phantom of the Opera" poster, probably from one of the first movies made.

"Like it?" Faith asks, as I linger in the doorway.

"Yeah, its beautiful."

"It's the room my mom always stays in. Her favorite colors, she loves any incarnation of that movie."

"Did she see the new one?" I asked.

"Yeah, loved it." She took my hand pulling me towards the last set of stairs, we practically ran up them. The top floor had been opened up to be all one room. To the left of the stairs was a living room, blue couch and love seat, glass coffee table, and huge widescreen tv hanging on the wall. Bookshelves, filled to capasity lined two walls.

To right was what I assumed to be her bedroom. There was a queen size bed, unmade, purple sheets with a purple and red patterned bedspread. The turqouis painted walls should have clashed horribly, but somehow they seemed to go okay. Right above the bed hung an ornate silver cross, and a shelf hung on either side of the bed, containing what I figured were the favorite of her figurines. Across from the bed was a smaller flatscreen on the wall.

"You have to see the best part," she commanded pulled me past the bed and out onto the balcony, right to the edge.

"Oh wow," I breathed out taking in the view. Her house actually was slightly more on the hill than most, but no where near high enough to be destroyed in a mudslide.

It was actually at the perfect height, just right to give a beautiful view of both the mountain to the left and the city to the right. And right now the city lights were beautiful.

Faiths POV

I slid behind her as she took in the view, wrapping my arms around her waist. She leaned back into me, letting out a sigh. I wrapped my arms tighter, nuzzling my face into her hair.

"This is so beautiful," she spoke quietly, almost revrently.

"This is the view that made me buy the place," I told her. She spun in my arms, and I let them rest on the railing, moving up close so her back was against the railing.

Again she's running a hand through my hair, again I get the same far off, content feeling I did by the pool. From the look on her face I know she feels it too. She wraps her arms around my waist, leaning her head on my shoulder, I wrap my arms around her, staring off into the night.

"Nothing has ever felt this right," she says quietly.

"I know," I answer, in a voice so low I'm surprised she hears. I continue louder. "It scares me. No one else has ever made me feel this way."

"Me either," she pulls back and I see her wipe her eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I ask, bending to catch her eye.

"Nothing," she shakes her head. "I've just been so lost, for so long, and now..." She trails off, but I know the end of the sentance.

"Now, you're home."

"Yeah," she nods. For a second we just look at eachother, then she reaches up, tentetivly at first, kissing me slowly. My hands had fallen away from her, but now they find their way back, pulling her tight against me.

That seems to be all she needs, her kisses become more frantic, she presses herself hard against me, and a little moan escapes from my mouth, into hers. She pulls back, sucking in a deep breath, like she's trying to suck me in.

I take her hands, backing up towards the open door. She follows more than willingly, not bothering to shut the door behind her. That's fine with me, the ideas running through my head have me thinking the fresh air will be good.

I sit on the bed, pulling her to me, I lift just the bottom of her shirt kissing a line across her soft skin. She tangles a hand in my hair, pulling me closer, using both hands I push her shirt higher, resting my hands on her breasts. I don't move my hands, forcing her to push herself against my hands.

As she struggles to get friction from my hands, I pull them away, wrapping them around her back. I loft my head to kiss her, and pull her to my lap as I do.she lifts her knees onto the bed, straddling me. I break the kiss long enough to pull her shirt over her head.

She looks down at her, so vunerable naked from the waist up now, hair already messy. Her eyes are greener them ever, electrified, lips swollen from my kisses. With that thought I capture them again, hands cupping her breasts, squeezing, and rubbing, palms against her nipples.

She pulls back, hands pushing me downward. I comply, kissing my way to her breasts, then taking each nipple into my mouth in turn. I feel her fumbling with my shirt, and reach down to help her, pulling away from her only long enough to pull the shirt over my head.

Before I can resume, she pushes me back on the bed, one hand working its way up my skirt. She other is working on the back clasp of my bra under me, while her mouths sucks greedily at my nipple through the thin fabric of my bra. She snaps the clasp, and I wiggle out of the bra, breathing in sharply when her warm mouth touches my aching nipple. This happens at the same time she slips one teasing finger inside me before pulling her mouth away.

"B," I breath out, I get a flash of me back handing her across the face. It freaks me out, but also doubles my arousal. I slide a hand up her back, resting it on the back of her neck and pulling her roughly to me.

She kisses me as harshly as I pulled on her, slipping at least one more finger in me. I raise a leg between her legs and she presses down against me. I work my hands to her pants, unbuttoning them, and pushing them down, she kicks them the rest of the way off.

I roll us over, loving the feeling of being on top of her. I grab both her hands, holding them on the bed above her head as I kiss down her, she squirms underneath me, trying to connect our bodies, but I'm holding myself away.

I let her hands go as I work my way down her, pulling her panties off as I go. The excitment of getting past her white lace underwear, quickening my pace. I bring my mouth to her most private area, and she arches herself to me. It's quick, she comes almost immediatly, but doesn't take a second before she switches our position.

I find myself on my back, her diving into me at a rate that makes me think I was going slow. Again she slips two fingers inside me, curving them inside as her mouth closes on me. My breath starts coming in raggid bursts, I wrap my hands in her hair, loving how she feels moving

against me. I come faster than I ever have.

She collapses against me, our sweatsoaked bodies melting together. I feel like if I could open my eyes there would be steam rising from my body. Her legs twist with mine, and I run a hand through her hair as she lays on my chest.

"Come on," I whisper, together we wiggle up to the pillows. I fumble blindly for the sheet, pulling it over us.

"The light," she mutters.

"Yeah," I answer, and reach for my all purpose remote, she cracks an eye open seeing me click off the lights with a touch of a button.

"Oh you are too cool." She mutters.

:Cause it's a bittersweet,

Symphony, this life:

Buffys POV

It's early, just getting light out, I've been up for over an hour, been itching to slay something. Faith is still fast asleep. Somehow I know this is weird, I know she should have been the first to wake up, that she actually sleeps even less than me.

I know that. Just like I know if she woke up first she would have snuck downstairs, and made bacon and eggs. She would have served it to me in bed, with a Lily from the bunch on the table by the pool.

I rolled over, facing her as she slept, dark wavy hair falling slightly over her face, but I can still see her closed eyes and full lips. Right now all I wanted to do was kiss those lips, pull the bottom lip in between my teeth, biting it not too gently.

In the back of my mind though, back there where you don't have control of what's going on, in that spot I was thinking about stabbing her. Not doing it now, it had just been a quick flash in my head the night before. Right when I slid my finger inside her.

Right then I knew, just knew how it would feel to have the hilt of a knife in my hand, as the blade slide into her. It disgusted me, and I started to pull away from her. But she grabbed the back of my neck with such force. And it felt so good, I couldn't stop.

Sighing, I shut my eyes, hoping to find sleep again. Hoping to push all the weird thoughts from my head.

When I opened my eyes again, Faith was coming through the door, tray in hand. I sat up smiling as she set bacon, eggs, and a flower in front of me on a silver tray.

"Morning," she smiled, pushing a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. She fiddled with the sheets, looking amazingly shy and nervous. "You weren't up, and I figured you'd be hungry."

"Thank you," I smiled at her, meaning it. "It looks amazing. And thank you for last night."

"The premeire? That's no big deal, we can go to one once a week if you want, I mean if I can get off work, and if you can get off work," she trails off as I smile at her. "And I'm rambling so now I am gonna shut up."

"It's nice to see people who aren't me rambling. And I meant the more intimate parts of last night."

"Oh," she grinned, looking up. "Well I figured you liked that," she wiggled an eyebrow and I smacked her arm.

"Are all you actress's this cocky?"

"No, actually for the most part we are highly insecure. I am a contradiction."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," I kiss her quickly before digging into the food. "You're not eating?"

"Nah, my stomach feels a little off," she admits, rubbing the offending unit through her tank top. Which makes me realize I am still buck naked. I smile to myself surprised at how comfortable I am with her.

"Um, could you grab me a shirt of something?" I ask.

"Oh, yeah sure," she grins, and turns to the closet, opening it up the revel more clothes than I ever had, even at my height of fashion conciousness. She digs through for a minute before tossing me a pair of sweats and a tank top, both tatooed with 'Juicy Couture'.

"Thanks," I smile, the sweats are baby blue and the shirt is white.

"No problem. Listen I have a revised script to go over before shooting today, so I am gonna go work on that while you eat and shower, alright?"

"Yeah," I nod, feeling a little lost, left to do my own thing in her room.

"When you're done I'll give you a ride home on my way to set, okay?" She asks, leaning forward and kissing my forehead, before turning to leave.

"Okay," I grin, feeling sure again, seeing that she's just busy, not ditching me. After last night though, those thoughts...

Faith POV

I shut the door behind us, pulling it tight and locking it. I check my watch, should be just enough time to get B home and get to set. I don't even pay attention to the feeling when I think of her as B, they're becoming natural.

"All set, B?" I ask, she grins.

"I kinda like when you call me that."

"Oh you kinda like?" I tease, snaking an arm around her waist. "Anything else you kinda like?"

"Yeah, I kinda like you," she answers, getting into my car when I open the door.

"I guess I kinda like you too," she opens her mouth, pretending to be shocked. I close it with one finger, kissing her pretty little lips and shutting the door. As soon as I open my door she starts in.

"Oh, you kinda like me? What's that about, kinda? What do you kinda like about me?" She's grinning, so I know she still playing. I shut her up by kissing her hardly. I lean far over onto her seat, my mouth crushing hers, but she wraps an arm around me, pulling me tighter. I squeeze a hand in between up, under my tank top she's wearing, finding her breasts still bare underneath.

I squeeze it hard, pulling the nipple between my thumb and pointer, getting a sharp little gasp from her. I lower my mouth, shoving the shirt far enough down to allow access. I suck deep on her nipple for seconds, her hands clasp on the back of my head. I shake myself out of her grasp, and start the car. I glance over at her, sitting there dazed.

"I kinda like your tits," I grin, putting the car in drive to head down to the street.

"You, are," she's still taking little breaths in between her words. "A, complete, ass."

"Dirty mouth," I chide, I kinda like that too. I receive a very hard punch for this, now that she's caught her breath. We're both laughing though, and it feel good. I was a little worried this morning. The thought of hitting her still fresh in my mind.

"Is that your phone?" She asks, cocking her head slightly. I turn down the stereo, listening.

"I don't hear anything," I answer.

"The buzzing," she grabs my purse, digging through till she pulls out my still vibrating phone. I grab it quickly, seeing its Kaden.

"How did you hear that?" I asked, flipping open the phone to answer. "K dawg, what's going on?"

"Faith," that one word and my face falls. Everything in his tone tells me its bad news. I glance right and pull off to the shoulder of the road. B looks at me questioning.

"What's wrong Kaden?"

"It's mom," he chokes out, and my world starts to spin. "There was an accident, drunk truck driver, he caught the end of her car switching lanes, spun it over the divide, into, into the oncoming, cars." The sentance was broken, and sounded to my ears like it was coming over the earliest telegraph, but I understood. "She's gone."

"Dead," the word was cold in my mouth and tasted bad. I opened dropped the phone, opening the door and dry heaving, finally producing a thin line of stomach bile. I could hear B on the phone.

"Yeah...I'll tell her...yeah...of course...I'll make sure...yeah...okay...bye. Faith? Faith, are you okay?" She pulled me back into the car.

"Yeah," I nodded, ignoring the absolute absurdity of the question. "Can you drive?"

"Yeah," she got out of the car, walking around, as I slid into the passenger seat. She pulled back out into traffic.

"You can stay at my house for a while if you want." She offered, but I shook my head.

"No, I've gotta get to set."

"I'll drive you," I only nod. She takes my hand, and squeezes it.

"Fuck," I mutter. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit, fuck." With each word I punch the dash.

"Feel better?" She asks.

"A little," I nod. "I just talked to her yesterday."

"I found my mother, when she died," she says quietly, I look up at her sharply. "I got home from class, and she was just on the couch. At first I, I just thought she was asleep. But then her eyes were open." Her voice is lined with pain that hasn't given up its hold on her yet.

"They told me she had been dead a while, that nothing could have saved her, even if I had been there."

"Fuck, B."

"I pulled my sister, and my best friends body out of a collapsed building. There were no rescue crews, no anything. Just me and Willow, but we found them, and we buried them. And it was the hardest thing I've ever done. But it's gotten better Faith," she takes me hand again. I look at her in awe, unsure how anything could ever be better again after all that.


	15. 15

Lyrics belong to Linkin Park

:I woke up in a dream today  
Remembering I'm pretending to be  
Where I'm not anymore  
A little taste of hypocrisy

And I'm left in the wake of this mistake:

Buffy's POV

"I dropped Faith off at the gate, not allowed to go in with her. She told me where to park the car, and said she would be back soon. She's devastated by her mother's death, I can tell, and I very much feel her pain."

"Oh, Buffy. Is she shooting right now?" Willow asked.

"She said she had one scene," I answered, shaking my head. "I don't know how she can do it."

"She's not dealing yet. Just getting through, it hasn't hit her yet I bet. Just be there for her."

"I know, I just feel so bad. I know exactly what she is going through, and I still don't know what to say to her."

"Like I said, just be there for her," Willow repeated. My phone beeped, cutting off whatever she said next, I frowned and glanced at my phone, thinking maybe it was Faith. I frowned more when I saw who it was.

"Will, I gotta go. Angel's on the other line."

"Angel, our Angel?"

"No, one of the other three I know that you don't," I answered sarcastically. "Be right back," I clicked over. "Hello?"

"Buffy, we need you." He sounded out of breath.

"Angel, what's wrong?" I asked, sitting up straighter.

"It's Spike, we got a tip, it didn't seem very probably, we sent Fred and a team over to check on it. The distress call came in about an hour later. By the time I got there they were all dead. All but Fred."

"But how? The chip..."

"It's not working; he went to some shaman, in Africa or somewhere. Buffy, he killed Fred in front of me, I barely got away."

"But Spike, he's..."

"Stronger than I have ever seen him," Angel interrupted. "And he is out for your blood, Buffy."

"Fuck," I muttered, rubbing my head.

"Can you come over here? Meet me at my office?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "I need to do something and then I'll be there."

"Hurry," he hung up. I hung up my phone and it immediately rang back. Willow.

"Hey, sorry," I answered.

"No problem. What did he say?" I took a deep breath before answering her.

"Spike's back."

"Did they contain him? I should get to the lab."

"He got rid of the chip, Will. And there's something else."

"What?" She asked her voice heavy like she didn't really want to know the answer.

"He killed Fred." I said it matter a factly, no energy to soften the blow.

"Oh god," she cried, he voice thickening. "I gotta get over there."

"I'm heading over as soon as Faith comes back. She'll drop me off and we can go over. Okay?"

"Yeah," she answered quietly.

"I'll see you soon," I clicked off the phone as I saw Faith making her way back across the lot. She climbed into the car, slammed the door, and sat, staring straight ahead.

"You okay?" I asked.

"They're writing me off the show," she answered flatly.

"What?" I asked, shocked. "You're one of the main characters."

"The studio got a new programming head, Gail somebody or another, she said the shows too expensive and to cut back. They figured my character would be the easiest to write off."

"Fuck," I muttered again. "No, screw this. Something is going on Faith."

"Yeah, god is smiting me," she laughed bitterly.

"No, it's something bigger than that. In the past hour you've lost your mother, and you're job. You remember that girl Fred?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"She's dead."

"What?" Faith turned to me, looking shocked. "How?"

"A long story you won't understand. I need you to come with me to Angel's office. I'll explain on the way."

"Explain what?" She still looked confused. Outside, rain was starting to fall again.

"Everything," I answered, putting the car in reverse.

Faith's POV

Either this girl is completely wacked out on crack, or the most honest individual I have ever met. I honestly am not sure which. I am also currently considering myself to be in the 'on crack' category, since I am going along with it.

"So you hunt vampires?" I ask, maybe for the third time, but the first time with Red in the car. I glance back at her, and she nods. I'm driving now so I quickly turn back to the road.

"Yes, I am a vampire slayer," she is starting to sound bored with repeating it. "I slay the vampires, demons, and the forces of blah, blah, blah."

"And Red's a witch, and there is an evil vampire after you, and your ex boyfriend. Who is also a vampire, and a lawyer."

"We'll, he runs a law office," Buffy nods.

"And you think there is some sort of spell on us, making all these horrible things happen?"

"Well what's your theory?" Buffy asked.

"Life throws shit at you?" I ask, she glares over at me.

"Pull in here," I turn into the underground parking structure, following it's winding drive down into the depths of the building until it opens into a parking lot. I park the car, turning it off and glancing at B, she's tilting her head, looking back at me. In that instant I think of how vulnerable she is, how easy it would be to hit her right now, crack her head against the window.

"Faith?" She puts her hand on mine, jerking me from my thoughts.

"Yeah, let's go." I hop out of the car stretching. Willow leads us to the elevators, entering a security code before we ride up. The doors open into a swank office.

"Angel," Willow calls.

"Swank digs," I nod approvingly.

"Thanks," Angel answers, shutting the office door as he enters the room. He certainly looks pretty banged up, one eye shows a fading bruise, while a cut is starting to heal on his forehead. As he crosses a room I see he's limping slightly.

"Angel, god," Buffy rushes to his side, helping him  
into a chair.

"You brought starlet Barbie with you?" He asked, looking up at me.

"Hey, Barbie was blonde jackass," I snap, plopping on the couch.

"This involves her," Buffy rolls her eyes. "Something is going on, and it involves her too. At least by association, I think there's some sort of spell on me, maybe her too."

"Well, we can do a scan on you both. If there was a spell, there will still be a trace glow."

"And that means?" I ask.

"It means you go with Willow to the lab, while the big guns figure out how we're going to stop a crazed killer," Angel answered.

"Okay, that's it, I'm leaving." I stand and Buffy rushes to me.

"Faith," she places a hand on my arm, and I stop. "I know how crazy we all sound, but even if we are, what harm can getting tested do?"

"Um, lots it's my body they would be testing."

"It's a mystical test. Non invasive," Willow rushed to explain. "Come on Faith." She led me out of the room and up into the labs.

"Alissa," Willow called, a smart looking tall blonde hurried over to us.

"Yes?" She asked.

"I need a full trace scan of Faith," she motioned to me. "We're looking mostly for some sort of negative force spell, something with the power to make things around her act negatively."

"Possibly a wrecking spell?" Alissa asked, looking at me like I might have the clap.

"No we're looking for something a little more local, only hitting those closer to her."

"Alright. If you'd follow me please," she waved me forward; I gave one last look at Willow, then followed Alissa.

"We're just going to run a few standard tests, should take about fifteen minutes. We just need you, please sit down, to stay still for us." I sat when asked, and she busied herself around me, attaching electrodes to either side of my forehead, my wrists, and my ankles.

"You're not going to electrocute me are you?" I asked, again feeling a little crazy.

"It's just a mild shock," she answered; I pushed myself out of the chair, ready to bounce outa there. She put a hand on my shoulder, pushing me back into the chair. "That's a joke, Faith."

"Oh," I answered, laughing a little nervously. "That wasn't really funny."

"Sorry," she apologized with a laugh of her own. "You won't feel anything, it's a small spell channeled through the wires into you, the results will print out and we'll be able to see if there are any spells on you. Actually we'll be able to tell if there is anything off in you. Even if you were pregnant."

"Doubt that," I grin.

"Ready?" I nod and she flips the switch, I shut my eyes, expecting to feel something, surprised when I feel nothing.


	16. 16

Lyrics from Linkin Park "my December"

:And I'd give it all away

Just to have somewhere

To go to

Give it all away

To have someone

To come home to:

Buffy's POV

Faith looks tired, and bored when I step into the lab. I'm halfway to her before she notices me. As she lifts her head I catch a glimpse of her, laid out in a hospital bed, tubes connected to her arms..

I blink and she's smiling up at me. She takes my hand and pulls it to her lips, kissing my palm gently. I sink into the chair next to her.

"Hey," I smile, "what's the diagnosis?"

"No word yet, the doctors are keeping mum. They wanted to wait for you and the big man to get here." She frowns looking the way I came. "Where is sir mcbeefalot?" I smirk at her.

"Angel, is going to be right," I hear the elevator ding. "Here." I glance over and see Angel striding toward us, his leg already healed.

"What have we figured out?" He asked before he had reached us. "Alissa!"

"Right here," she came running. "And here are the results." He snatched them from her.

"Jiya? She's a good guy though. Works for the powers."

"The spell was meant to be good. It must have been the exact wish, or the circumstance. The only way to know for sure is to call on Jiya." Alissa explained.

"So, what's going on?" Faith asked, looking at me for an explanation.

"That was all jibberish to me," I shrugged, looking to Angel or Willow for a more in depth explanation.

"Jiya, she grants one wish to people the powers that be deem worthy. Usually they earn it after being put through unearned trials." Willow explained.

"I was never granted a wish," Faith stands, giving us all the 'you're crazy' look.

"Your memory would be totally reformated," Alissa answered without looking up from her clipboard, where she was now scribbling wildly. "I can summon Jiya to the green room if you want, sir."

"Yeah, get Faith in there," he waved Alissa away. "Buffy, we need to plan."

"I want to stay with Faith until she goes in," I told him. He gave me a look, holding my eyes for a beat before nodding.

"Right, Willow come with me. Buffy you'll join us?"

"As soon as she goes in," I nod.

"Alright."

Faith and I watched as Angel and Willow walked away. She kept looking their way after the door was closed behind them, I reached out, taking her hand and she looked down at me.

"Am I crazy?" She asked.

"No," I assured her. "Something happened, and bad things are going to keep happening until we figure this out." I stand, wrapping my arms around her. She's tense for a moment, then wraps her arms around me, leaning her head on mine. I never realized how much taller than me she is.

"I am so scared, B," she sounds scared. "This is not my life. My life is friends and family, and working. It's not this crazyness."

"Yeah, that's my life?" I laugh a little, pulling back to look her in the eyes. "If I didn't know the spell had been put on you I would assume this was all my fault." Now she laughs a little, and I push hair

out of her face. She kisses me gently.

"I love you," she whispers, moving her lips to my cheek. "I don't know why, but I do. I feel like I've loved you forever."

"I know," I answer her, moving my hand to the back of her head, keeping her against me. "I love you too. And when all this is over we'll be happy, I swear." She nods against me, and I feel her tears on my cheek.

"Hey," I push her back so I can see, she wipes her eyes, sucking in a deep breath. "It's alright."

"Be careful, if you go after him, please be careful."

"Oh, we're going after Spike," I nod, "you can bank that."

"You say he's crazy."

"Yeah, but I'm stronger and smarter than him. And I have you to come back to. Just figure this out with Jiya."

"I will," she smiles. "Be sure to come back."

"I promise," I kiss her now, holding her close enough to feel her temperture rise when I run my hands down her back.

"Faith," Alissa interupts us, and Faith pulls back, licking her lips. She moves her hand to my cheek, running a thumb over my lips as she pulls away. She nods, and I nod. We walk away from eachother, I don't look back, and I know she doesn't either.

Faith's POV

I step into the green room, door sliding immediatly shut behind me, locking into place so that when I turn around I can't see where the door was. I look around the room, somewhat surprised to see its white. Although why I find that contradiction surpriseing I don't know. Suddenly all the lights go off, and the room is filled with a light breeze.

I can't explain it, but it smells green, like fresh cut grass. There's also a sort of salty smell. I'm immediatly taken back to summer trips to my grandparents at the ocean. Suddenly I'm tired, worse than ever before. I lay down on a floor, not as hard as I would have expected, and close my eyes.

When I open them soft sunlight is falling on me, a sort of late summer sun, not intense, but strong in its own way. I sit up, finding myself in a field, wind blowing over me. I can hear the surf crashing, and when I stand, I see it past the ledge below me.

"Faith," I turn to see a beautiful woman behind me, all billowing dress, and grace. Her skin seems a little green, blonde hair and pink streaks. She is fucking gorgeous.

"Jiya?" I make it a question, but I know the answer. She seems to glide forward, placing a hand on my cheek.

"It wasn't supposed to be this way. You weren't supposed to be hurt, you weren't supposed to meet her."

"Buffy?" Again I know the answer.

"She was something you were supposed to leave behind, meeting her has thrown off everything. You can stay with her, but it comes at a cost."

"So I can't be with her?" I frown, "She's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"That's true, and it's also not."

"Well, what was it like before?" I asked.

"I can't tell you that."

"Why not?" I asked again, getting more agitated.

"Because now you have a decision to make. To continue on this way, having this life with Buffy, which will be idealic, I promise. But it will come at the expense of every other part of your life. You can choose to walk away from her right now, and go back to your normal life. Or you can choose to go back."

"Back? Back to what apparently was so bad I gave it up without a second thought?" I realized right then that all my doubts were gone.

"It's your choice, when you've made it, I will come" she whispered, backing away, and dissapearing into the haze that was forming.

Slowly, everything faded to white, and I stood alone in the green room once again. The door slid open and I walked back into the lab.

"Well?" Alissa asked eagerly.

"Where's Buffy?"

"Left over an hour ago, why?"

"Over an hour? How long was I in there?"

"Four hours and," Alissa checked her notes, always thurough. "And eighteen minutes."

"I gotta go home," I started out of the lab.

"Wait, Faith, we need to know what she told you, so we know what to do" Alissa tried to step in front of me, I pushed past her.

"No you don't. Its my decision," I left the lab, taking the stairs two at a time, until I reached the level marked parking.

I don't remember much of the drive home, if there was traffic I didn't notice. I glanced at the clock when I stepped into the house, and it dimly registered it was after nine.

I fixed a sandwhich and ate it mechanically. No I'm not sure what was on it. I lost an hour in the kitchen, when I looked at the clock on the microwave it was after ten.

How long had Buffy been gone? Three hours maybe? I found myself wondering if she was even alive anymore as I climbed the stairs to my room. I walked quickly to the balcony, climbing up onto the only ledge big enough to sit on. For a couple minutes I stare over the city clearing all the confused thoughts from my head.

Give up Buffy, the idea of it felt strange, even though I had only known her a short while. She felt like the missing piece in my puzzle, the one thing my life had been lacking. And now I had to choose. Loose her forever, or loose everything in my life for her. Walk away from her here, or go back to my old life, whatever that was.


	17. Chapter 17

Lyrics belong to Jimmy Eat World from "Pain"

:I never thought I'd

Walk away from you

I did

But it's a false sense

Of accomplishment

Every time I trip:

Buffy's POV

I duck down behind the dumpster with Angel, reminded of night after night spent like this. Now that's a romantic history if you ever heard one, huh? Still his smell somehow takes me back.

I shake my head, Faith. Faith is the one I am romantic with now. Yup, just Faith, no reminicing.

"Team blue, do you copy?" Angel repeated urgently, snapping me back to the present. Nothing but static on the otherside of the walkie talkie. Angel shook his head. "They're gone."

"Oh yeah, this is high jinx," I said under my breath. He gave me a grimace that I could almost mistake for a smile.

"What's the plan? We going home, rounding up back up?" He asked.

"Maybe something a little bigger than a ten unit?" I asked.

"Maybe," and now it was a grin. "Or maybe we could just go in, guns blazzing western style."

"And get ourselves killed in the process?"

"I like the little lady's plan," we spun as one, both staring up at Spike at the corner of the dumpster. We stood quickly, facing him. "Course I could always count on Buffy for the really good stuff. The best bits of action," he winked.

"Ewe," really I could think of no more complete response than that.

"Oh, come on, Love, where's my hug?" He opened his arms wide, and Angel swung at him. Quicker almost then I could follow Spike caught his arm, twisting, and shoving the arm up. Angel only let a little hiss of pain out as his fingertips brushed the nape of his neck.

"Duck!" I called, Angel tipped his head forward, I kicked high, clearing his head and catching the side of Spike's head. He went down, clutching the side of his head, Angel spinning out of his grasp, shaking his arm

to work the pain out.

I followed up my kick with two quick punches, knocking his head first one direction, then the other. He whipped his foot around, knocking me on my ass, I barely rolled away in time to avoid his crushing blow to my face. I heard a solid connection, and knew Angel had landed a hit. But before I could push myself to my feet, Angel landed face to the pavement next to me.

"Angel," I cried, jumping to my feet, and dodging two quick punches. I caught the second, but Spike spun, pulling himself from my grasp. "Angel," I called again, but no response.

"You're boy's out cold. What are you going to do slayer?" Spike laughed obnoxiously, kicking out, I tried to dodge, but it caught just the side of me. I slammed into the wall, biting my lip; I tasted the copper of blood, and also felt its warmness running from some new cut on my forehead.

I was stunned for only a second, but that was all the time he needed. Spike grabbed me, pressing my arms to my sides; he forced my head into the wall. Once, and I struggled, trying to kick back at him. Twice, and I went limp. Three times, and the world went black.

When I came to I found myself wrapped in chains, tied to a steel support beam. My hands were twisted up behind the pole, pulled as far around as they could go, and secured there. My shoulders were stretched to their limit, and throbbed painfully; my head was humming a similar tune.

"Ah, you're awake then," Spike stepped out of the shadows, into the glow from the streetlight. "Like the new digs?"

"Classy," I looked around, we were in some warehouse, probably the one we had been sitting outside of.

"Yeah, well, I'm just passing through really, it doesn't have to be much," he shrugged.

"Where's Angel?" I asked.

"Oh, him?" Spike strolled forward; something he pulled from behind his back glinted in the light. "Well he's right here," he tipped a glass jar over my head, dust settling over me; I coughed, accidentally inhaling some.

"Liar," I screamed, fighting against the chains, which only bit in deeper.

"Take a deep breath," he spoke lowly, leaning in close. "Taste him."

I only glared, using all my will to hold back tears. I couldn't actually taste him, but I knew it wasn't a lie. Angel was dead.

"Now, you and I are going to have some fun." He let the jar drop, it shattered, and he bent grabbing the largest piece. "I want you to notice how small the cuts are, how many I can make without you passing out."

I tried to squirm away, but there was really no where to go as he sliced me again and again. He worked my face first, every once in a while leaning forward to lick along the freshest of the cuts. It all stung like hell, each cut beginning to feel like it was on fire, but I stayed silent.

"Where's the cheerful banter?" Spike leaned back, looking me over; he ran a thumb across my cheek, smearing blood and dirt into the cuts.

"I don't start the banter till it gets painful," I answer, shaking my head to get the hair off my face.

"Must be getting painful then, since that sounded a lot like banter," he smiled, punching me across the face. My head lulled for a minute from the force of the punch. I wasn't sure for a second if I would be able to lift it again.

"Now, don't go passing out on me, love. Where's that slayer constitution?" He lifted my head, my eyes drifted into focus. "That's better then. I think we'll start with the fingers."

This time I couldn't help but scream.

Faith's POV

I opened the mini-fridge in my room, taking out a bottle of vodka, and pouring myself a shot. I downed it, started to put away the vodka, then decided to pour another. I walked back onto the balcony climbing back on the ledge with every intention to sip at the liquor. I downed the second shot.

"Jiya! I've made my decision," I called into the empty night, feeling more than a little dumb yelling into the night. Especially when there was no response.

"Abra cadabra? Is there a magic lamp I am supposed to rub or something? A wardrobe to walk through to get to you?" Still no answer. I sat quietly for a minute, staring down at my empty glass, wishing I had the will to fill it again.

"I just want to get this over with," I could feel tears warming my eyes now, I dropped my head into my hands. "Please just let me get this over with."

"What's your decision then?"

Buffy's POV

When I came to I was in worse pain than I have ever been in my life. I was now only chained to the pole around my waist, sitting on the stone floor, hands in my lap. When I looked at them I felt consciousness roll under me again, all but my ring fingers were gone. Spikes voice brought me back from the verge of blacking out.

"Didn't know which one Angel put the ring on, thought it might be important to you.

"Ass," I wheezed.

"Aww, with the compliments now are we? I'm going to blush." My head rolled in lew of a response, and I fought to bring it up again.

"What's next then, boss," I forced a grin, and again he punched me. I spit, seeing blood spray out, I smiled at him again, knowing it was a bloody smile, this time he smiled back.

"Well, next I was actually thinking a little acid burns. I know its a little new age, but still fun." He leaned down, picking up one of those science beakers with the small neck. He pulled the cork, and I swear I saw something smoke out of it.

"On second thought, it would probably hurt a bit on those open wounds," he pointed to my fingers, well now my hands. "I'll just fix those up quick. He walked around behind me; I didn't have the energy to twist to see what he was doing.

"No," I cried when he stepped back into view, hot iron in hand. I tried to squirm around the pole, but he grabbed my hand tightly, then got an even firmer grip on my arm, pulling it to him.

"It'll only hurt for, well, a while hopefully." He brought the iron to my hand, searing my middle and pointer finger, then the thumb, and pinkey. I screamed, good god I screamed bloody murder, then I passed out for a few seconds as he did the other hand.

The feeling of my arm on fire woke me. I looked at my arm, expecting to see flames, all I saw was water. But it wasn't water, it was the acid, and as I watched it ate its way through a few layers of skin. After everything so far I was surprisingly numb to this. It dawned on me that my body was probably starting to go into shock. Especially when he poured more on the other arm. The pain wasn't more than an itch.

"No screaming?" I could hear the disappointment in his voice. "Time to move on then. I nodded in agreement, not sure why, mostly I was beyond reason I thought. I noticed with some sick amusement white bone showing through on my arm.

"You think so to? Well than I'm thinking our games are almost over. I have to say I expected you to last longer. I nodded again. I had expected to last longer to. He said something else, but I had blacked out again.

Faith's POV

I spun around to face her, standing in the middle of the balcony. She smiled.

"Sorry to startle you. But you called. What's your decision?"

I glared at her; I hated her, everything about her. "You're supposed to be all powerful aren't you? You can change my whole life in an instant, and you don't know what my decision is? Can't read minds?"

"I never said I was all powerful. The power I have is little compared to others. I only change one simple thing, one tiny aspect of a persons life, everything else is just a result of that change. Sometimes the results are little, and sometimes they are huge. It all depends on the choice."

"I want everything to go back to normal," I tell her, eyes closed, teeth clamped.

"You want your movies, family, and fame?" she asked, already stepping towards me when I opened my eyes. She paused, hand inches away from my forehead as she waited for my response. "Yes!" I thought, "that is exactly what I want."

"I want to go back, to whatever was normal before my wish, before the fame, before the money." She hesitated for only a moment before her fingers gently touched my forehead.

"As you wish," the world spun before me, slowly fading to black.

Buffy's POV

The world swam back into focus once again, the ground far below me. I glanced right, then left, railroad spikes had been driven through my wrists and were holding me to the wall. I tried to move my legs, thinking maybe I could pull myself free; at least dying of blood loss would be better then whatever Spike had planned.

My feet wouldn't move.

I looked down to see one long spike driven through my feet, fresh blood trickling down the wall.

"Awake again, finally," Spike spoke from below; tilting my head left I could just see him. He backed up, coming more clearly into view.

"What are you doing?" I meant to say it loudly, to scream and curse, and show him I was still fighting. It barely came out a whisper.

"I'm going to show you how fun this little device of yours can be," he lifted my crossbow from his side. He must have found it by the dumpster. "I'm telling you, it's a whole new toy when you're on the receiving end."

He lifted it, taking his time to aim just right. It registered he was aiming for my heart. I'm sure he saw some sort of poetic justice in that. Then world began to spin again, and as it faded to black I thanked god for small favors. The bolt from the cross bow would still kill me, but I wouldn't feel it.


	18. Chapter 18

Lyrics belong to Frou Frou from the song "let go"

:So let go, let go

Jump in, oh well

What are you waiting for

It's alright

Cause there's beauty in the breakdown:

**Faith's POV**

"Everything will be alright," the voice resonated through my head, soft and sweet, leaving me feeling calm. Buffy and I will work it out. I frown, wondering where that bust of optimisim came from.

"I realize this is gonna sound funny coming from someone that just spent a lot of time kicking your face... but you can trust me," Buffy's voice sounded almost pleading, I smirked up at her. Yeah right, us together, why was I thinking that?

"Is that right?" I asked, tossing my magazine aside. I hadn't really been reading it anyway, and I was sure whatever she had to say was going to be much more interesting.

"I know I kept secrets, but I didn't have a choice. I'm on your side." Again she was pleading. Her on my side? If that was the case how come my face was practically smashed in with prints of her small fists. While she didn't have a mark on her.

"I'm on my side," I nod to drive the point home. "And that's enough."

"Not always," Buffy shakes her head. I want to believe her, I can feel myself giving in. She's perfect to me, I so want to believe in her.

"Is that it?" I ask, making my voice cold, distancing myself from the feelings she is causing. She deflates after that, all fight for my affection gone from her.

"Yeah, I guess." She's looking at me, like she's waiting for me to warm to her, change my mind. Not gonna happen.

"Alright. Well, then, I'll see you," I turn away from her, staring at the tv, just praying she takes the hint. If I look at her one more time I'll break.

Out of the corner of my eye I see her turn, heading for the door. The voice runs through my head again. "Everything will be alright. She loves you."

"Uh, Buffy?" I turn back to her.

"Yeah?" She spins back to me quickly, eyes hopeful.

I take a second to consider. I want to tell her we're going to be okay, that everything we are going through is going to be worth it. That everything's going to be okay. But as soon as the thought's there it washes away, I'm not even sure where it came from. I shake my head.

"Nothing."

Buffy lowers her eyes, looking disappointed. Slowly she turns back to the door. I half consider calling to her again, but decide against it. She opens the door and leaves, letting it close quietly behind her.

I look around my room, so empty. Devoid of anything that would really make it mine, I inhale and exhale deeply. She's standing outside, maybe thinking about coming back in, maybe hoping I'll go after her. I should. But what would I say? A voice in my head says we're gonna be okay? Right.

I turn back to the TV, she's leaving now. As she fades from my senses, so does the idea that we will ever be okay.

END


End file.
